𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚅𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚢 | 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗

.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.

Jisung and Minho walked into the older apartment after leaving jeongins so he could have some alone time with Chan on his day off.

Minho set down the bag they had brought to jeongins containing clothes and such.

"I'm gonna shower if it's okay hyung," Jisung said softly.

"Of course it's okay. You don't have to ask, you know that" The boy walked up to his boyfriend and kissed his forehead.

"Should I come with you?"

Come with him... Come and see him naked in the shower together. Granted they'd obviously done things that required you to be naked, Minho hadn't ever seen jisung fully naked. He always kept his shirt on, never taking it off during sex.

"No, I can do it by myself," Jisung stepped away from Minho and began moving to the bedroom where he would steal yet another set of clothes from his boyfriend.

"Ji, we never shower together.." Minho followed as he pouted.

The boy basically ignored him and went through his basket of fresh laundry that he had washed for the other. Minho grabbed his hands, stopping him from looking in the basket and making him look at him.

"Why don't we ever shower together? Isn't that a thing that couples do?"

Jisung looked Minho in the eyes for a second, studying every glimpse of something he couldn't place inside of them. Was it hurt? Sadness? Anger? Pain?

"Do you not trust me too see you without a shirt?"

"It's a sensitive thing, hyung." He pulled his hands out of Minhos "please don't push it anymore,"

It made the older feel horrible for asking about it but of course it made everything feel as if there was always some under lying tension.

"Baby-"

"No Minho you don't understand, okay?" Jisungs voice raised a little "you don't know what it's like to be ugly! Especially when your standing next to the most beautiful person you've ever met.."

Minho took this in and sighed a bit at the repeating conversations they'd been seeming to have recently.

"You are not ugly, sung.. You are beautiful and I love you for who you are and no matter what you think of yourself. Why does this keep coming up?"

Minhos voice sounded so sincere in jisungs ears and he wanted to believe it, he truly did but the mirror said otherwise. His head said otherwise. The reflection he was forced to look at said otherwise.

"I don't know..," Jisung looked down and closed his eyes in which were now flooding with tears "I don't know.."

The second time he said it was louder yet more sad sounding. Like it was almost his mind speaking for him and no longer jisung himself.

"Why do I have to feel this way?" He asked so quietly and looked up at Minho with teary eyes "why do I constantly have to worry if I'm ugly or fat or repulsive?"

"You don't.. You really don't jisung," Minho stepped forward and pulled jisung into a hug to which the younger sobbed into. A loud inhale of a cry and several sobs following. It was heartbreaking to say the least, sad for Minho to see his baby in such a way.

"I love you, jisung" Minho whispered as he squeezed the boy tighter "I'm not going anywhere.. You mean everything to me and I would never ever give any of this up because of your insecurities."

"Stop," Jisung said in a fit of tears and shook his head against minhos chest.

"Why is this so hard?" The younger asked with his voice going up several octaves due to tears.

"Why is what so hard?" Minho pulled back to look at the boy's face.

"Why is being happy so hard? Why can't we all just have a little while where we're all okay?"

"We are okay.. We are happy difficult times just come with that happiness. Those hard times will pass, some maybe sooner than others but they will. You just have to trust me,"

"But even jeongin and Chan aren't happy.." Jisung pulled back to look at his boyfriend who in turn wiped the boys tears from his cheeks.

"What do you mean?"

"Jeonginnie stayed up all night waiting for Chan hyung to come home so they could hangout and he messaged really late in the night.. And then when he came in the morning.." The boy paused "actually, I shouldn't tell you"

Jisung wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and shook his head.

"Tell me what?"

The boy hesitated, not wanting to say the true reality of the situation. It was sad and he didn't want to tell jeongin for fear of everything crashing down on him once again. The seungmin situation was now coming back up again and with Chan starting his job and them going back to school soon, it would've been to much for the poor boy. So jisung pretended like he didn't notice.

"A hickey.."

"On chan?" Minhos eyes widened as jisung nodded confirming his question.

"I saw it when we were sitting on the couch that's why I was acting weird.."

"But jeongin and Chan give each other hickeys all the time,"

"Jeongin tells me when they have sex. He always texts me afterwards for someone to talk to when Chan falls asleep. They haven't had sex in days. Theres no way that the hickey would be that dark after almost four days."

"You're right.. Son of a bitch" Minho scrunched his jeans in his hands so tightly that his knuckles changed from s rosy red to white.

He hated when Chan fucked up because he always got everyone involved in his mess. He always hurt people as well.

"Should we tell jeongin, hyung?" Jisung grabbed his boyfriends hands and held them in his own.

"I don't know.." Minho looked down, defeated and shook his head with a sigh.

"Maybe we shouldn't get in the middle of it.. I mean it's really none of our business and we shouldn't jump to conclusions because maybe they had kissed somewhere and jeongin did it.."

"You're right," Minho said after a moment.

"Is happiness just too much to ask for?" Jisung asked softly and moved closer to Minho.

"With the wrong set of people, yes" Minho whispered.

That got both of them thinking if jeongin and Chan were really right for each other or if it was just toxic...
---

I just thought of a really sad ending to this book but I won't break your hearts ✋😔