- Mito and✖️Alluka's✖️Funeral
(⚠️ Depressing thoughts, Mentions of Su1c1de, Mentions of cutting, Mentions of r4pe are present in this chapter ⚠️)
(ANGSTTYYYY)
Date: January 22, 2003
Gon's POV:
it's been five days since aunt mito and alluka's death. tomorrow is the funeral. i'm ready, but not ready at the same time. i'm scared that i'm just gonna break down in the middle of it. most of the last five days are just me in my room crying. i just miss aunt mito so much. killua walks into me crying in bed a lot of the time. he's comforted me, but i still have the slight urge to get a razor and end it all, but that's gonna make killua sad, and i don't want that. i miss seeing aunt mito every day. i wish i spent more time with her when she was here. man, i wish life wasn't that short. i-i d-didn't e-even get t-to s-say s-sorry f-for being s-such a bad n-nephew f-for the past t-two years.
(damn, you know he's in a bad place when he's stuttering in his head)
killua walks in to me crying into my blanket.
"Gon, is everything alright?"
"i'm a bad nephew, i'm a bad friend, i'm a bad boyfriend." i keep repeating.
"Stop thinking that you're bad!"
"i was so selfish fighting the ants, you think i'm good? i was literally giving up my life and didn't even give a fuck about what you felt."
"Gon-"
"i was so rude to my aunt for the past few years. never even apologized about it."
"No..."
"and if you didn't meet me, your sister would've been alive still... it's all my fucking fault, nothing's gonna change that!"
"Gon, stop thinking of that!"
"no other thoughts are in my head. besides, it's all my fault."
"It's not your fucking fault, Gon. Believe me!"
"i deserve to be dead. your sister gave me second chance in life and i blew it."
"No, you didn't blow it. No, you don't deserve to be dead."
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, KILLUA, I'M JUST SO TIRED OF LIVING!" i shouted.
"Gon, stop it! I'm not losing another loved one again! I-I've l-lost too m-many i-in a w-week... a-and I-I'm afraid o-of l-losing y-you... You don't know how much it hurts me to hear that from you... So, please, just stop... I want us to live a happy life..."
"killua..." i said softly. i reach over to him while he's crying. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to make you feel like this..."
"It's okay, just don't do it again."
we cuddle for the next 15-ish minutes.
"Stay strong for tomorrow, Gon..." He says.
"i'll try. i'll try to be positive too. and try to have fun throwing ging around." killua chuckles at my remarks.
"Don't worry, I'll be there beside you when you make your remarks at the funeral."
YOU ARE READING
Long X Lost X Friends (A Killugon Story)
FanfictionIt's been two years since Killua and Gon have talked to each other after separating near the World Tree. Gon has been feeling lonely ever since the split up. Will they ever meet up again, or will Gon meet his fate? ⚠️CONTAINS⚠️ suicidal thoughts/att...
