Falling Hearts.

Chapter Fourteen.

I woke up at home. I don't remember getting home last night. Daniel is asleep on the floor. I check the time. 7am. I see that I got a text from Noah. My heart breaks at the name. It said that he wants me to meet him at the park as soon as I woke up.
I get out of my bed and put on some warm clothes. I look like a mess since I got rained on so much last night but honestly I don't even care.
I walk out side and shiver from the wind. The walk to the park was slow. My mind wouldn't stop thinking about what Noah would say. I hope it's something like an apology so we can be friends again because without him it's torture. Maybe it's bad news like he has to move away or he can never be friends with me again. I don't know. I just hope it isn't something terrible. I have a feeling it is though.
I reach the front of the park. Automatically Noah looks in my direction and runs to me. Embracing me with a hug. I missed this. I missed him.
"Oh AJ.. I'm so sorry." He whispers stroking my hair. I pull away and look at him. His hair a mess. His eyes are red and his cheeks are stained with tears.
"I need to tell you something." He looks down. A nervous tone was filled in his voice.
I smile and nod to motion for him to go on.
"I'm leaving here." He looks at me. Pain in his expression as well as mine. I had a feeling it was something bad and I was right. It was terrible. Noah leaving. I won't be able to see him again. Even if we visited each other it wouldn't be the same.
I kept shaking my head as a no.
"You can't leave. No. No. No you can't go. You can't." My voice cracked at the end which brought tears to my eyes.
"You have to keep going even if I'm not here. You will be better without me." He puts a hand on my shoulder but I threw it off.
"You always told me to hang on to the things that kept me alive. How am I supposed to hang on to you when you're gone?" I run my fingers through my hair.
"How will I be better without you? You are the only person who understand me. You understand my pain. You loved me when I forgot who you were, when I forgot who I was. These past weeks without you have been so much worse than the weeks where I found out my birth parents died." I broke down in tears.
Noah looked so guilty. He can't leave. He knows how much he means to me.
"I don't want to go. I have to." He say stepping forward to me.
"Why?" I ask loudly.
"For you-" he yells
"-If I'm here all I will do is eventually hurt you. Every single day I think about how much I love you. I can't stop loving you. I would do anything to be with you even if that takes hurting the people you love. I don't want that." He calms down. Noah cups my face and wipes away my tears.
"You're leaving because you love me? When are you going?" I saw the tears welling up in his eyes.
"I'm leaving tonight." He breathes out then looks away.
"You cant do that." I mumble out. I brush my hair back. It's still damp from last night.
"Do what?" I pull him in for a hug. This is something I'll kill for when he moves away.
"You can't come into someone's life then just leave. You can't make them care and love you then throw it away like it was nothing." His grip tightens around me.
"I'm not doing this for me. If I had control I would stay but once I fall in love I can't be near the person or else I'll go insane. That's why I could handle being near Evie. I never fell in love with her." I shake my head then pull say from him. Out of us I was the one who couldn't deal with love. For me, love is too scary. You fall in love then after you get heart break. I can't go through with all if that again.
"Would you stay of I loved you like how you love me?"
He shakes his head then turns around and starts to walk away.
Every step he took I felt my heart break. Just before he leaves I try to find the words to say to try to make him stay.
"I love you." I yell out. He stops. He turns his head to the side so I could see half of his face. Even though he was far away I knew he was crying. "I love you." I repeat a lot softer. He ignored me and kept walking. As the sight of him grew smaller I felt broken. I couldn't move. I didn't want. I want him to come back and hug me then tell me it was all a lie. I knew it wasn't. I could tell by his eyes. If I love him and he loves me why must he leave? Maybe he will hurt me but I don't believe he will. Noah isn't like that.
He can't go. He just can't. His gone now and I'm left standing alone in the middle of the park. I look up to the sky. The clouds are grey. They match my feelings.
I hate this feeling.
I hate it so damn much.