Falling Hearts.

Chapter Eighteen.

Dear Noah,
You broke my heart once again. You never wanted to be my friend? I'm sorry for wasting all those years with you. I'm sorry for everything I've done for you. I don't know if your sorry would fix the hurt i feel. I know you don't love me. You never did.
Remember when we were younger we would always have sleepovers. And the first time you moved in to your apartment you let me stay with you whenever. Also when you slept over at mine we would always sneak out to the city or some where else.
Remember when we went camping under the stars and got lost in the Forrest.
There is so many good memories but you never loved me through those times.
Were you just lonely? Were you just bored?
I'm the type of person who believes it when someone tells me that they love me or want to be my friend.
I love you so much Noah.
I guess I'm not good enough for you. I'm good enough for others I guess.
Now I'm scared to fall in love even more. You know how I feel when it comes to love.
You know what happened to me. Don't you remember?
I feel even more heart broken now than the time I lost my sister. That's sad. It's sick.
How can you play someone like that?
I'm sad. I have been for a very long time but I never knew until you pointed it out. I'm so sad that I have no energy to do anything anymore.
I feel so insane. I hate being sad like this. It makes me feel that I'm a crazy person.
My feelings where buried so deep down because I hate feeling.
I hate feeling happy because then I know I can feel sadness.
I need to move on. I need to find a new friend. Maybe i can just hang out with Faith.
I don't feel like myself anymore. I want to change. By change I mean change my look and all. I think I've already written that but you need to know for when you come back. If you come back. I won't be the same AJ. I won't even call my AJ anymore. Probably something like Ay.
First and last letter of my name. Very uncreative but I'm not creative.
My father asked about you and I just said you had to leave because your aunty died. It's hurts to lie to my own father. I didn't want to tell him you left because you love me. loved I mean. Wait no, not even loved. I wonder what you told Evie when you got there. Did you tell her the truth about why you left or did you lie? Again.
My life is a mess. My mind is a mess. My heart is a mess.
All because of you. All because I let myself believe you. I'm so stupid. You are completely stupid. It's all your fault but then again it is mine too.
I'm sorry for being such a wreck.
I'm sorry for being AJ.
I'm sorry for being me.

From Ally-Jay.
A.K.A: Not your AJ anymore.