Falling Hearts.

Chapter Twenty Six.

"Here you go." Noah says while placing a coffee in front of me.
"Thank you." I whisper with a smile.
It's the next day and we're sitting in his apartment. It reminds me of New York apartments. A nice desk with a huge window looking over the city. He told me he doesn't like staying here because it reminds him of me.
"So, uh, how has these past years been?" I ask awkwardly.
"Could've been better but it was okay." He doesn't look up. I take a sip of my coffee.
"That's okay I guess." I whisper.
I sit here hoping it would all go back to normal. I wish it was just like those friendships where you haven't seen each other for so long but when you do it's like you just saw them yesterday.
"Why?" I look back up at him. He is looking back. When I caught his eyes I could feel mine filling with tears.
Noah didn't answer. He just looks at me with no expression.
"Why did you leave me?" I start to yell.
My throat feels blocked, just as if there was a lump in there.
"When you left there was so much pain that I couldn't function well. I had to see my psychologist again but I never went. I couldn't face it knowing I was going insane again." I stop and stand up. I walk around so I'm leaning over him.
I turn his head so he is facing me. One of my tears drops on his cheek. I wipe it away before continuing.
"You made me feel insane. The only reason I let myself feel like that was because it was the only thing I had left to know you were here." My heart was beating so fast that i feel like I'm going to faint.
"I love you." Noah whispers before leaning up and kisses me.
He stood up and kept his lips locked upon mine.
His hands find the ends of my shirt. He starts to lift it up but I stop him.I move back and look up at him.
"Noah.." I say quietly while placing a hand on his chest.
He continues to play with the hem of my shirt.
He went from my best friend to my lover.
"AJ.." He whispers before kissing me again and lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his torso.
Noah makes the way to the bedroom, as he does he accidently bumps me into the walls but it doesn't break our kiss.
Once we reach there he places me on the bed. Noah is hovering over me.
He slowly breaks the kiss then smiles.
"I love you so much." He murmurs before leaning back in and kisses my neck.
When I first met Noah I never imagine him and I like this.

********

I regret it. I mean I liked it but Noah is supposed to be my best friend not my lover.
Laying here next to him, seeing his face I don't understand how I can't love him.
I get out of bed and put on my clothes. I walk out to the desk and look over at the city. All the people rushing to work. Their minds are set on the day ahead when all I can think about is what had happened.
My mind is going crazy that I can barely hear my own thoughts.
A pair of arms wrapped around me. It gave me a fright
He spins me around. A smile is spread across his faces while mine stays the same.
He kisses my nose.
"What's wrong?" Noah says while he starts to rub my back.
I can't take this love stuff.
I want to brake out of his arms and run away. But I want to stay because I want him. I need him.
"I just, I'm not use to all this love stuff yet. Not ever with Carter. I broke down during it. But you, it was different. It's all hitting me now." I blink back all the tears.
With Noah's arms still around me I wrap mine around me.
"I left because I had to. I didn't want to. If I didn't we wouldn't be here right now."
He leans his head on mine.
The silence fills the room but that's exactly what I need right now.
"Amare." He whispers.
When we were in high school we did Latin classes. Amare means love. He always said that to me when I was upset when we were in junior high school.
"How can you love someone like me?" I ask looking down.
I've never loved myself but I've never hated myself.
"Who wouldn't love someone like you?" Noah says then smiles. I get out of his grip then walks over to the kitchen.
One hand on my hip then the other on running through my hair. I feel as if my mind may explode any second.
"We're friends! Always have been, always will be!" I mumble but loud enough for Noah to hear.
"Friends? After all this time you decide to be friends?" He had pain behind his voice.
I shook my head. I don't know what I want.
I want him but I want to be alone.
Nothing makes this easier.
"AJ, don't let us go through this whole friends thing again. I love you absolutely love every part of you and everything you are. You are so confusing and insane but I love that about you. Your insanity is my reality and I can't go another day without it." As he steps closer I back away.

Friends.
Friends.
Lovers.
Friends.

"Friends." I whisper then look up at him.
He stands still.
"If that's what you want then go." He starts to yell.
I slowly walk over to the door.
"Please, please. I'll be good to you. I love you. Don't go. You didn't want me to leave don't go." Noah's voice was muffled but I knew what he was saying.
As my hand touch the door knob I knew what I wanted.

Lovers.

I turn around and run back to him. He wraps his arms around me and I do the same.
"Lovers. I love you." I whisper into his chest.
"I love you so much AJ. My AJ." He kisses the top of my head.
He makes me feel special.