We all have secrets... [Cameron Liddell fan fiction]

Chapter Nine - Dear Diary...

Later that night... 

11PM

(Katie POV)

I was sitting in my living room, flicking through the channels, my headache had finally decided to go away, so now I was feeling a little more myself. 

I ended up turning the TV off because I couldn't find anything good to watch. 

"I'll just go to bed then. I have work tomorrow anyway." I moaned to myself. 

I got up off the sofa and headed into the bathroom, I tied my hair back and started washing my face. 

As I wiped my face dry with the hand towel I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. 

I was fed up now. I had feelings for Cameron, then today he just tells me he doesn't think of me like that, but he was acting kind of odd around me, so I thought he might of liked me a little. 

I just wanted to talk to someone about him you know? When you just went to let all your feelings out about someone, but not to them and you have nobody to talk to. 

Then it clicked. 

I could just write it down in a diary! 

But then stopped and thought. "You're 24 years old Katie, you can't be writing diaries." 

Or could I? 

I flicked the light switch off and shut the bathroom door, then I headed into my bedroom and turned the lamps on. 

I opened my draw and messed around a little, trying to find and pen and an empy book. 

"Aha!" I said to myself as I pulled the book and a pen out, then I sat on my bed and started writing down. 

[KATIE'S DIARY]

"Dear Diary, 

I know I am 24 years old, and I should be grown up now and not writing into a book and keeping it all secret. But I have nobody to talk to about what I'm going to talk about in here. 

And that's Cameron Liddell. The man I like, a lot. He really makes me smile and he's made me see a good and fun side to myself again. 

He left me with my ex and their friends to America, 3 years ago, and haven't been back or in contact since. 

But not long ago I found him again, and I found the part of me which had been missing for the last three years also. That's the fun side of me. 

I have been having more fun with Cameron in these past days, more than I had in the whole three years I went without him in my life. And I'm glad that he wants to actually be my friend again. 

He's an attractive guy, trust me. Over time he's become much more attractive and it's just really hard for me to take in. 

I can't really explain how he makes me feel when he's next to me, when he hugs me, smiles, talks to me. I just want to be with him whenever he does those things. I love him. I don't like him, it's love. 

Today I realized that I do actually LOVE him! 

I really want to tell him, but I don't know. Today I asked him if he actually did like me, because my old ex rang me. And complained that Cameron loves me and I'd just break his heart when he had to go back to America again. 

I asked him when he came to my apartment, he went all red and laughed, he sounded a little nervous and he told me he liked me, but not in that way. 

It kind of broke my heart in a way or two. 

I really need to tell him my feelings, I can't keep them bottled away forever can I?... I don't know, it's all confusing. I just love him and that's all I can really say at this moment in time. 

- Katie May." 

[END OF KATIE'S DIARY] 

I sighed, then shut the book and hid it away again, deep down in the desk.

At least I had let all of my emotions out. I really did need to tell him though.

I sighed again, I was doing that a lot lately, I hated being so down all of the time, but I guess I bring some of these things onto myself. 

I pulled back the bedcovers and then got into bed, I reached over to my bed side table and turned the lamp off.