Love Don't Cost A Thing

33.

Meredith laid, curled up in Derek's arms, as usual. Images. Bad images. That's all she saw. And she knew she was being a stupid coward who was hiding away. And she knew she should probably go to school...or probably make Derek go to school. There was no reason why he had to be here. She could take care of herself. Instead of Derek to comfort, she could get jose out. Tequila never failed.

It was Monday now and he had to go to school. She knew she couldn't face everyone yet. But he was stronger, more pulled together. She believed he would be able to handle it. They would probably swarm him at school, but he would be able to handle it. Unlike her, the weak one who had almost been raped and had a horrible past. Her life sucked. And she was just 17 years old. She wondered if it could ever get worse.

"You should go to school today." Meredith told Derek as she pulled out of Derek's arms. She never thought she would be pulling out of Derek's arms. But she didn't want to be a damper on Derek. She didn't want him to lifeless like she practically was now. She wanted him to live his life, instead of watching his practically lifeless girlfriend. So, even though she felt cold and alone, she pulled out of his arms.

"What? No. I'm staying with you." Derek said as he reached up and pulled her down. She didn't fight, it was that easy. She was giving in so easily. Because she wasn't strong enough. Not yet.

"But-" Meredith tried as she fell into his arms again.

"No. You need me. I need you. I'm staying." Derek said with a tone of finality.

Meredith didn't say anything. She liked his arms around her. And it was his choice. She couldn't make him.

Meredith wove her arms around Derek and closed her eyes, opening them back up quickly. The images. They haunted her. So her eyes stayed open as she held back tears. She then wove her entire body into Derek's, feeling completely safe, although he couldn't get rid of those images. That was the one thing he couldn't do to help her.

And it would be her destruction.

Then the door opened and in came Ellis with a tray of breakfast food. "I know this might be surprising, Ellis Grey bringing in breakfast, but Mer, honey, you've been through a whole lot and you need to eat." Ellis said as she laid the breakfast tray on the bed side table.

"I'm not hungry." Meredith said in a muffled voice from Derek's chest.

"I'll try to get her to eat." Derek said as he looked at Ellis from over Meredith's shoulder.

Ellis nodded sadly and then winced as her pager went off. Meredith's body tensed for a second. She hated that sound. She would always hate it and for a second she wondered how she would be a surgeon, which was her dream, if she hated that sound. But how could she be a surgeon? She figured that she would be like this forever. Then why was she still here and fighting to get better? She had no idea. Meredith remembered all the beeping of pagers the day Ben died. She didn't like it. Period.

Meredith relaxed when the sound was gone and then sighed. Of course her mother was gone. Right when she was home, acting human and caring, she had to go right back to the inhuman, careless person she was.

"I've got to go...911, i'll be home tonight, Meredith." Ellis said as she turned and exited the room, hating to do it. Her daughter was suffering because of what happened to Ben, what happened to her, because of her father and because of Ellis. Everything was tying in to one big disaster that was leaving her...broken. That was the only word for it. And Ellis could do nothing. Whenever she tried to talk to Meredith, she wouldn't listen and she couldn't even touch her. She couldn't do anything for her daughter. Because she had Derek.

She had Derek, the only person that made Meredith feel not so alone in the world. He was the reason for everything, for her survival. And same with her being his everything, she was the reason for his survival.