Love Don't Cost A Thing

16.

"So, who exactly are you?" Derek's sister, Jane asked. Meredith sat next to Derek at a table after teh fineral...it was after and everyone was having some food and talking, trying to have a good time.

Derek wasn't really paying attention, he seemed to be in a conversation with Mark, although they weren't saying much and when they weren't talking, Derek seemed to have a great interest in his fork.

"I'm Meredith." Meredith said awqueredly.

"we know that, but how do you know Derek? He's never told us about you." Katherine cut in.

"of course he hasn't." Meredith sighed, now finding great interest in her food.

"Guys, leave her alone, if she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to talk." Jessica said as she shrugged.

Meredith felt a bit of graditude toward Jessica, even though she didn't even know her. Meredith looked up and saw all four sisters, including Nancy, looking at her. She just looked back down, hoping they would look away.

She looked at Derek who was now talking to Mark.

"Derek?" She tried talking to him for the first time that day.

"Hmm?" he looked at her.

She was going to ask if she could talk alone with him, but thought against it, remembering what day it was.

"Nevermind." She said.

"Ok." He looked at her for a second and then turned back to Mark.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a half hour later, Meredith had finished eating, Derek's sisters went to talk to other people, leaving the table with only her, Derek and Mark.

"Derek?" She said lightly.

"Yeah?" He turned to her again.

"I'm going to go...i should get home." She said, hoping a little but that he would ask her not to go. But she was wrong.

"If you have to." He shrugged.

"o-oh ok." She stuttered. At this moment, no matter what the circumstances, she was glad she hadn't said I love you, to him.

"ok.." He said, but looked a little sad...well of course he did, she thought to herself. Today was his dad's fineral. But she studied his eyes for a moment, looking in the darkened blue...it wasn't a light, sea of blue that she was used to, it was hurt and blank and...not him.

After a second her turned back to his food, that had hardly been touched and played with it some more and talking to mark.

She breathed in deaply and slowly got up, turning to leave and looking back at Derek, who wasn't looking back at her. She turned and walked toward the door of the house, not being able to resist looking back one more time...she gasped a little, locking eyes with his. He smiled weakly at her.

She smiled back, surprised and turned to leave, feeling his stare on her, as if burning through her, until she was out the door and out of sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meredith sighed as she walked into her house, tossing her keys on the near by table and taking her jacket off and tossing it to the floor, not caring to hang it up on the closet. She was in no mood to go to the rest of school. She would just sit on the couch and watch TV, just after she changed in to noce and comfy Pj's.

She went upstairs and changed quickly out og her black dress. She missed Derek...as much as she hated to admitt, she missed her Derek. After all that happened, he still loved her...his dad dies and she's still the love of his life.

Her mind went back to the night they had sex, before she ever found out, there first and only time so far. She went downstairs and her heart flittered thinking of that night. The way her touched her skin, the way he kissed her, the way she felt so right in his arms.