Am I Normal...? ♥A tododeku story♥

Part 18

is it weird that I am super tempted to make a gacha yt channel 0-0 but also il lose motivation half way through each gacha :> 

a n y w a y s enjoy 

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Midoriya POV

It was the day after I reunited with my mom and I didnt sleep a wink, we ended up checking into a hotel which was paid for because of our situation. Inko was exhausted and fell asleep almost instantly me on the other hand was too... shocked! Like how is this even possible?! It just seems like something out of a wattpad story! (A/N How ironic heheh.. I think im funny) It was also really lonely without Todoroki, I wanted to sleep with him- I MEAN NOT LIKE THAT I MEANT SLEEP OVER OR LIKE SLEEPING NEAR EACH OTHER NOT THE COUPLE ONE BECAUSE THATS WEIRD HEHEH YEAH UM WHY AM I EXPLAINING TO MYSELF? i DONT KNOW, SHOULD I  STOP? yES. ANYWAYS UM- Why am I thinking to myself? Im not sure, Im just that lonely I guess? Since I couldnt get to sleep I decided to stay up watching things on my phone and before I knew it, I heard birds begin to chirp. I look out my window to see the sun creeping in through the window. Huh, I guess I pulled an all nighter. Cool. I checked the time and it was around 6 am, so I decided to go outside for a morning walk. I put on a hoodie and my signature red sneakers and walked outside, I took a deep breath of fresh morning air in and took in my surroundings. The sun glistened on the morning dew and I walked around and took in the silence, it was peaceful because most people were asleep or at work or what ever. There was the occasional car passing by on the near by road but other than that it seemed that people just disappeared, it was quite soothing in a way. I decided to walk over to a park that wasnt too far from where the hotel Inko and I were, When I got there it was strange to see no body there, though I knew it would be  empty due to how early it was. It was strange to see no families, no joggers, no people, just birds chirping in the background. I walked over to a bench and sat to watch the sun finish rising. As I watched it rise I thought about life, dunno why I just did. I thought about my dad, thinking about him made me sad but I couldnt get him out of my head, it was like he was still here looming over my shoulder. Even though I knew Inko wouldnt get mad at me for going outside I felt like if I go back my dad would be there to scold me and perhaps even slap me. Fuck, I didnt think this through now I dont want to go back I dont want to be in trouble. Whats wrong with me?! Hes in prison now I think so he cant hurt me... right? I almost felt as though I could hear him whispering insults into my ears, I hated it. Going outside felt calming at first but being alone with nothing to distract me isnt a good thing or a calming thing. I couldnt escape the thoughts of him and I could almost see him when I closed my eyes. I began sobbing though doing that just made me feel like a cry baby. Why was I crying? Hes gone, not at home. If I go back he wont be there If I go back he wont be there If I go back he wont be there gosh damn it! I kept taking in shuddered breaths and It became harder and harder to breathe. Though I was outdoors I felt walls closing in on me, whats happening?! I dont like this! I need help! I could barely catch my breath I covered my ears hoping the echo of my fathers voice would go away but it didnt stop, it lingered in my head not stopping I could hear him calling me a homo, ugly, a freak over and over. It kept looping his words wouldnt leave me alone! "GO AWAY GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I shouted out loud unintentionally. I was just stressing out over this, I couldnt handle it I didnt know how to get him out of my own fucking head! I keep telling myself he is gone but I cant seem to help myself?! I dont know what to do I cant handle this! I was panicking I didnt know what to do, how to get this bastard out of my head, or how to stop crying. Suddenly I felt someone place their hand onto my shoulder, I thought it was my father instinctively and flinched and backed away. "Its okay, just breathe okay?" I heard a soothing voice say. It definitely wasnt my fathers, it was calmer and concerned. I attempted to listen but my breaths were wavered and it was still a bit hard to breathe. I had my eyes tightly shut trying to stop myself from crying even more. "Its going to be okay, just try your best to breathe and try to calm down. I dont know whats wrong but what ever it is dont think about it" The calming voice said. "I cant stop though He wont go away" I whispered shakily. "Who?" The voice asked. "My dad.." I whispered back still struggling to breathe, though I could breathe slightly better. The voice paused before saying something else then said "Well your nasty father is in jail so theres nothing to worry about okay? Just forget he exists and think about something that makes you happy" the voice said trying to help. I thought for a moment, what makes me happy? Um, Todoroki makes me happy I guess, so do kittys and puppys, the fact I found my mom too. I began feeling slightly better but I still didnt want to look up at the person in front of me, it would be so embarrassing and I was probably all icky from crying as well. The voice then started asking me random questions like "whats your name, whats your favorite color, do you have any hobbies, whats your favorite animal" etc. I gradually began to feel better and the water works went away. I rubbed my face off with my sleeve, then sniffled and finally opened my eyes still avoiding looking at the person next to me. "You feeling any better?" the voice asked, this time the voice sounded more familiar than before. Maybe I know this person? I couldnt tell before because I was too upset but now I feel like I know them, the sound of their voice made me feel nice and calm. I nodded in response. "T-thanks" I stuttered. "look at me please" They asked. What a peculiar request. I shook my head no hiding in my knees. "Why not?" The familiar voce asked. "B-be-because I probably l-look like a m-me-ss right n-no-now" I stuttered with cry breaths in between (A/N Idk what they are called but yuh I call them cry breathes :T) "I dont care how you look, you look adorable no matter what" The voice said chuckling. I went a bit red but it would blend into my crying face. I sighed then looked up to see, Todoroki?!? Oh god Todoroki saw all that, he probably thinks Im a complete mess. "T-Todoroki?" I murmured. He nodded and said "I heard a familiar voice yell from near by and when I came to check it out I saw you having a panic attack on this bench so I rushed over to help out" he said with a slightly concerned look on his face. "So so s-sorry to worry y-ou" I said waving my hands in front of me nervously. "No worries Midoriya, or should I say Izuku-?" He said winking at me. My face went hot and I slightly shouted out of nervousness "SURE IF YOU WANT I DONT MIND I CAN CALL YOU SHOTO IF YOU WOULD LIKE" Todoroki chuckled and nodded. "If you dont want to its fine Izuku" He said calmly "N-no I want to, just nervous is all." I sighed. "May I give you a hug?" I asked desperate for some sort of soothing touch. "Of course" He responded opening his arms. I hugged him tightly and as I was I realized how exhausted I was from 2 all nighters in a row and fell right asleep in his arms.

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have a good day/night!