Side By Side (A Rarijack story/ written by @PracticallyLesbian

Chapter 12: Ugly

⚠️WARNING ⚠️ this chapter will consist of mature themes such as body shaming and mental conditions that people develop due to toxic environments. The purpose of this part in the fanfic is to point out real life issues. NOT to slader certain types of people. After all, we all bleed red. Plus in this story a character will learn self love. They will spread a message that all types of people are beautiful. If this makes you uncomfortable please leave. If not, enjoy the read.✅.

Applejack pov

My eyelids were stiff and heavy. Faltering, I opened them up slowly. The starry sky was still out and the moon was as young as a tiny newborn baby. 

I guess it was probably two in the morning. All of the other girls are still asleep. Rarity is even still tied to me. I turned my body just a little so I wouldn't disturb her.

 Her arm rested around me. I laid my head on my crossed arms and stared up at the ceiling.

I hope the company that she applied for isn't as bad as the nightmares on the internet make it out to be. I just want her to be okay.

With the thought of Rarity still floating in my mind. Prom. Why did I want to kiss her? Why did she want to kiss me at prom? 

Sexual orientation has never been something that has ever crossed my mind. I always thought I was just a straight tomboy. But, my encounters with Rarity haven't been lately. After our fight at the park. That's when things started changing.

 I never even been that close with anyone before. So close I could practically taste her.

I never found myself interested in guys. Besides Dirk Thistleweed. Though he looks like a spitting image of Rarity.

 I wish I could speak to Granny about this. She always knew what to tell me. What advice I needed to hear. She was my rock and now... she's gone forever.

I slowly got up from the sleeping bag, I tiptoed over all of the girls and grabbed my green bag. I walked out of Pinkie's room, then down the hall.

 I walked out of the tiny building. I pulled out my cigarettes and lit it with a match. I could say it was an addiction by now. It was a comfort mechanism.

 As I stood outside and leaned on the wall of the wall, I felt salted water drops run down my face. What could I have said to make Granny still be here now? Why didn't I just fix the sink again? 

Why did I have to yell at her? I know it is my fault she is gone. It's my fault she is never coming back.

I wonder if she can see me from the heavens? What would she think of me now? "G-Granny, I'm so sorry." I cried out.

I wish she were still here. 

"I need you, Apple Bloom needs you. Bigmac needs you. Nothing is that same without you. How will I spend family traditions without you.... or h-holidays?" I said while looking up to the stars. Pebble sized tears flowed down my face. "I wish you could hear me say sorry." I slowly sat on the ground. 

Hiding my face in my knees. Vigorously, I lit another cigarette.

Swiftly I inhaled the smoke. I exhaled with a great amount of smoke leaving throughout my nostrils.

It could have been an hour that i stayed outside Pinkie Pie's house, just attempting to smoke away all of the pain that i felt within my hollow heart.

 It just wasn't enough. I ended up staying out there for hours. Grieving about the only parent figure I had. Mom and Dad were never around. Granny took the role of my parents. Now it feels like I just lost a part of my world. I never missed her so much.