In Deep (rewriting?? )

47

I'm unable to form words. Ethan, James, were the same person. I'm falling through memories; words, phrases, actions; they were all highlighted and displayed clearly in front of me. Ethan and James' stories were always a little similar. A distaste for talking about parents, a dead sister, even communication-wise their texts read the same. 

There was no way I could have known though. Was there? To me their names were different, their numbers were different, and I had never been able to put a face to Ethan's name. There were just two boys I met by chance who have oddly similar stories. Now I know they were not, nothing was just a coincidence.

"Wow." I sink back into my hands. A new light was cast upon him, he looks the same but different. These two people I know are slowly merging. I guess I'm a little shocked, this was not what I pictured Ethan to look like. I always pictured some proper young man who drove a respectable car like a BMW. He would wear a polo shirt and khakis when he was with his parents, button-down with the top three buttons open with his friends. Not James, the motorcycle-riding, disheveled hair, muscular man who sits before me.

It was ironic really, the internal debate that raged inside me earlier. Whether I wanted to meet Ethan or not? Was I moving too fast into yet another unrealistic crush? Deep down I know there was the question of what boy I truly liked more as well. These arguments were all pointless now.

"This was not the way I thought I was going to meet you." James droops into his shoulders. "It's weird to think I've known you all this time. I am so stupid. How could I not have compared numbers?"

"I mean there was really no reason for you too. Other then us having the same name."

"Ya, but if I had just not had two phones, we would have known this the whole time."

"I mean, ya." it was weird, seeing him struggle with the guilt that was so misplaced. How could he have possibly known?

"So that date, you didn't blow me off? You got your concussion by being hit by a car, and I was the one that took you to the fucking hospital. What are the fucking chances." I smile at the sky. White large clouds drifting overhead.

"It's all just... crazy." I breathe.

"Ya, crazy" He confirms.

"So what name do you prefer anyways?"

"It doesn't really matter to me. My parents call me James, but my friends call me Ethan. So I guess I prefer Ethan. I mean it's how I usually introduce myself. I only told you James at the hospital in case you contacted my family or some shit. My parents hate that I go by Ethan. They say a given name is a given name, no matter if I like it or not."

"Well it's a good thing you go by Ethan, I kind of have a thing against 'J' names." Smiling, I brush a strand of hair behind my ear. The light breeze kisses my face as it untucks the strand of stubborn hair once more. I feel a soft brush against my cheek as Ethan moves to push the chunk of loose hair behind my ear again.

"I can't believe you've been under my nose this whole time" he mutters and leans back. I flush, feeling self-conscious and slightly light-headed by the interaction.

"So I guess I do, in fact, have both of your phone numbers" I tease, lacing my voice with confidence.

"I guess you do."

"Does that make me one of your best friends?"

"I mean only the best of friends know about my two numbers "

"Well it's a good thing I'm the best, and your friend" I scoff, flipping my hair over my shoulder to add dramatic effect.

"It is a good thing because if you weren't the best I would have to erase your memory of me. Go all Men in Black on your ass."

"Very intimidating" I mock. "I guess I have to combine your contacts then, smile for the photos." I snapped the photo before he could even react. Capturing his disapproving glare at the lens made it the perfect photo for his contact. Sliding the phone back into my pocket I glanced up at him. He was Ethan, he was James. Ethan James... Pausing, I note I don't know his last name. I know so much about him, a fact he only tells his closest friends, yet I don't even know his last name. I suppose this isn't new for us though. We were talking with no knowledge of our true names or faces for what feels like forever.

"Can I know your last name?'

"I guess," once again running his hands to push his hair off his brow. This is a habit of his, I've noticed, he does it when he's uncomfortable with a topic.

"You don't have to." I rushed, I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with me, not now and not ever. He could tell me whenever he wanted. I'll let him approach that topic of conversation.

"No it's fine, I just get a little weirded out by the whole family topic."

"How about we wait until you are not uncomfortable" I suggest.

"You will be waiting a long time for me to ever not feel uncomfortable talking about my parents." His voice was joking, although there was a solemn tone in the depth of it.

"If I have to wait forever, it is a wait I am willing to make." I want to reassure him, he doesn't have to talk about his family if he doesn't want to. That will not make me think of him any differently.

"Thank you, Sara, really thank you."

Please comment all your thoughts. I really love seeing you guys in the comments with ur opinions. It helps me continue.  :)

Hey, besties. Not super long of a chapter I apologize but.... at least it didn't take me a year to write :/ (thank you to all those who have stuck with me). You guys are amazing and I love you! I have been working on the re-write while trying to figure out what ending I want to follow. I will be posting the new story soon. There will be small plot changes but the premise and characters are basically the same. I love you all. See you next Monday :)