In Deep (rewriting?? )

31

I make my way down to the lobby with my dad. I jump at every passerby, finding any resemblance to Jason they have and zeroing in on it. It's funny how when you don't want to see someone, everyone starts to look like them. We make our way to the dinner, where people were just starting to filter in and claim their seats.

I chose the seat in the most secluded corner so that I wouldn't have to talk to many people. A really nice lady and her husband sat with me and we had a very lovely conversation through the meal. Although, I was not sad when the desserts were being served and I could take my leave to my bedroom. As I was getting up to leave, I glance over and see Jason sitting with his family.

I don't think he saw me as I rushed out of the restaurant though. I leisurely walk to the hotel, the sun was only just starting to set, so I made the decision to head towards the beach to watch it. Although, once I dipped my toes into the sand and started towards the water, I felt eyes on me. Glancing behind me, I saw the one person I was praying not to see.

"Jason," I say in a monotone voice.

"I saw you leave before dessert," he tells me.

"You did?" I asked. "I had thought I had slipped past you," I tell him truthfully.

"Why would you want to slip past me?" he asked, oblivious to the anger radiating off me.

"To avoid this. I do not want to talk to you, since I have nothing to say," I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Then let's not say anything," he says stepping towards me.

"How dare you think that I would do anything like that with you after what you did to me!" I yell at him, taking a large step back. How dare he think we could just kiss after what he did to me? What a pig.

"Wait slow down, I meant like a walk—I wasn't trying to do anything," he says with his hands in the air.

"Oh..." was all I could get out, the embarrassment causing my cheeks to flare. So, I started walking the shoreline, Jason on foot to my side. I made sure to keep my arms crossed at my chest to avoid any accidental hand brushing. I look to the setting sun as it started to make its descent over the ocean. It painted such pretty colors in the sky, all I wanted to do was enjoy the moment in peace, although, of course, Jason had to open his mouth.

"Do you think that the sun knows the colors it paints on a sky?" he asked randomly. "Like one morning it wakes up and says I'm feeling a little redder today," he continues and I can't help but scoff at the absurdity of his comment, the ghost of a grin playing on my lips. "Do you think the moon gets jealous?" he adds. "Like here is the moon, and he can't paint any colors, and the sun can paint any color she wants. I feel that the moon would get sad."

"Why are you talking about this?" I shut his rambling down.

"I don't know, I just don't like the silence between us."

"You created that silence," I remind him.

"But I didn't mean to," he pleads.

"And the moon didn't mean to be unnoticeable, and here we are, enjoying the sun and dreading the moon."

"What is that even supposed to mean?" he asked, stopping to look at me.

"I mean that sometimes when the sun sets and the moon comes out, you see one's true colors. Once someone sees someone's true colors, that darkness within them, the sun can no longer paint pretty colors in the sky." I say taking an accusing step towards him. "You showed your darkness to me that night, and I did not think that it would be that dark, and now you are just the moon in my sky. You can't paint pretty colors across the horizon anymore, you are just light and that is all." I tell him, falling back a step when I am done. "It means that I was dreading seeing you." I finish, continuing to walk. I hear him catching up to me.

"And who is your sun now?" he asked me. I turn to face him, asking myself who is my sun now? But I know I cannot give him that answer so, instead, I say,

"I am my own sun, Jason. I don't need you or anyone. Just because I am not with you anymore doesn't mean that I am incapable or weak. I lived without you for 16 years, so I think I will be fine. And maybe you were my sun for a week, and that week was one of the brightest weeks of my life. But I was blinded by that brightness, and I forgot how bright my own sun could be. So, Jason, hear me when I tell you that I don't need you or anyone. I am my own sun and I paint the prettiest colors across my own horizon." I say, out of breath, looking deep into his eyes.

"You lost me, Jason, I'm sorry to say, but you are now the moon that only brings darkness into my life. And to tell you the truth, I am happy I figured all this out before getting home. I can now stop fawning over you in the halls and waiting for the day you will notice me. I'm free, and nothing can stop me now." I finish and walk away.

I am done being in love with Jason, I am done waiting for his attention, and if someone wants me then they can chase me. I'm done trying to make everyone else happy, and I'm done being someone I'm not. Once I'm far away from Jason I stop and sit in the sand, watching the sun paint beautiful colors in the sky.

________________________1022 words

I hope you guys like it. She's really becoming stronger and more confident in her self. I hope you all like where this is going, I know I do.