Obsessed • a/p

Chapter 15

It's been a week since Mark's death and both Alex and Perrie have started to process and accept the fact that he's gone. Perrie knows that she can't tell her therapist about killing him, even though they're not allowed to share their client's secrets. She doesn't want to end up in a mental hospital or in prison. She's still having a hard time after the breakup, it's getting worse and worse every day. Usually, people tend to feel better as time passes, but with Perrie that's not the case. 

She's been depressed, she barely had the energy to eat and do basic things at home. She didn't want anyone around her, not even her parents or Jesy. Even though they came to check up on her every day, she'd start crying even more and tell them to leave her alone. They told her that if she doesn't get better in a few days, they'll talk to a professional. But she only wants Alex by her side, she'd be feeling much better if he was with her. If he could only come to see if she's okay, if he could only see the damage he's done to her..

It's unfair.. It's unfair because she did so many things for him and this is what she got in return. He doesn't remember nor appreciate their rough past, he acts like it didn't happen. Even though it's not his fault, he doesn't pay any attention to what it did to Perrie. She did so many horrible things for her health, she accepted a toxic and abusive marriage, she forgave him for cheating on her, she put her whole life on hold for him, and last but not least, she killed for him. And all he said at the end is that he doesn't want to pay attention to the past he doesn't remember and move on. 

But can he really move on? Is being in a relationship with someone else really moving on? Is constantly thinking about her moving on? Even though he's constantly around Mia, his mind is with Perrie. But just thinking about her doesn't mean anything, right? So what if he sleeps in someone else's bed, so what if he hugs and kisses someone else? The truth is that he wants to move on, but his heart doesn't let him. Maybe the feeling he gets around her isn't guilt, maybe the way he avoids her gaze isn't because he can't stand seeing the pain they hold.  

"Perrie!" - Jesy shouts as she starts banging on the door. "Perrie, I forgot the key, open the door!" 

She hears her best friend shouting at the door and lets out a groan. She knows that if she doesn't open the door within a minute or two, Jesy is going to call her parents, and she doesn't want to worry them even more. She doesn't want to worry anyone by letting them see her like this. She slowly gets out of bed and tries to collect the energy to walk. She sees the tray with food her mum put on the nightstand yesterday, and sighs at the thought of getting told off for not eating again. 

"There you are, I was just about to call Debbie" - Jesy says when Perrie opens the door and lets her in. 

Perrie doesn't say anything, she just makes her way back upstairs, this time holding onto the fence for support. Jesy follows behind her, watching out for her. She takes her hand when they reach the top of the stairs and squeezes her hand as they go back to Perrie's bedroom. 

"You closed the curtains again?" - she says as she walks up to the window and opens the curtains, letting the sunlight in before she opens the window. "You can't suffocate yourself like this anymore" 

"Please close them.." - Perrie mumbles, throwing herself on the bed. 

"No, you need some fresh air. So unless you'll go outside with me, I'm not closing them yet" 

"I wanna be alone.." 

"I can't leave you alone.." - Jesy says as she sits down next to her. "Did you eat today?"

"I did.." - she lies, but then Jesy spots the food next to the bed and shakes her head at her. 

"You didn't even touch the food from yesterday. This can't go on Perrie, this is not healthy.."