Obsessed • a/p

Chapter 29

Warning: Sexual content

"It just makes me feel guilty.." - Alex sighs. 

"Why..?" - Perrie asks him softly as she takes his hand. 

"Because.. when I was in the hospital, her mum told me that she'd called her crying.. She was still in love with me.. she went crazy after I broke up with her.. and she was probably drinking to feel better, and that's why she got in the accident.." - he says. "I feel like it's my responsibility.." 

Perrie bites her lip, trying to think of something to tell him. She runs her fingers through his curls and lets out a deep sigh. Alex, who has his head on her lap, closes his eyes and tries to relax under her touch. He's been thinking about Mia ever since he found out about her condition. Basically, all she can do by herself is breathe. She can't speak, she can't move, she won't be able to do anything anymore. Her life is now ruined, and he thinks that it's because of him. 

When in reality, it's barely his fault. It was all Perrie. She did all of that to her, the only thing that's different is that she hoped Mia wouldn't survive. But again, she reminds herself, dying is too easy. Mia will now live her life as a half-dead person, she'll struggle, she'll feel emotional pain just because she threatened she'd report Perrie for killing Mark. Only if she didn't see or hear anything, she'd live normally now, only if she didn't go to the dinner Wendy invited her to. She wouldn't have met Alex and she wouldn't have to end up paralyzed now. It's her own fault. 

But in this situation, Perrie's hurt by Alex's feelings. He's feeling guilty and responsible for something she did. He's just too good for this awful world, he doesn't deserve to feel like this. If she could only do something that will make him feel better about it. 

"Alex.." - she speaks up. "This isn't your fault.. It was an accident.. She shouldn't have gotten in the car if she was that drunk.."

"But..-"

"But nothing. You broke up with her over a month ago, it was time for her to move on.." 

"You didn't move on from me.." - he says and opens his eyes to look at her. 

"Me and you are a whole different story, you weren't even in love with the girl. I know you feel bad for people but destroying yourself for something you didn't do is just pointless" 

"I don't know.." - Alex sighs again and starts rubbing his face with his hands. 

"Babe.." - Perrie puts her hands on top of his. "Look at me.." 

When he doesn't remove his hands from his face, she pulls them off with a little force and leans her head over his. 

"Open your eyes Alex.." - she says softly. 

He slowly does so and Perrie's heart starts aching the second she sees him with tears in his eyes. He's actually at such a low point that makes Perrie feel hurt and jealous at the same time. Hurt because he's in so much emotional guilt and pain for his ex girlfriend, for something that, again, he didn't do. And jealous because she knows that he wasn't feeling this guilty for actually hurting her, on purpose. She doesn't want him to think about Mia. 

But she can't show it now. She can't let herself show any sign of jealousy, it'd only make him feel worse. She needs to be as understanding as possible, because she doesn't know how might Alex react. She doesn't want to annoy him like she did when she had an argument with Wendy. She's lost him way too many times to afford doing it again. 

"Don't cry bub.." - she says, stroking his cheek. "It's not your fault, okay? You didn't do anything. This is all her own fault.." 

Perrie smiles slightly and wipes the tear that escapes his eye before kissing his cheek. She keeps planting soft kisses all over his face, and then pecks his lips. She needs to let him let her go and then help him forget about everything. Okay, he probably won't forget, but at least he won't think about her all the bloody time. She has to take his mind off of her.