One wrong thing; Changlix FF [ON HOLD]

Chapter 44; Half Truth

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„I will bring him back at 6pm if it's alright." I smiled at her and showed her thumbs up. She turned to Felix and spoke up „Yoon is waiting in the car. He will do a few questions with you as well." Felixs eyes got bigger at the mention of his minder. He even looked a little bit nervous. „O-okay, but you will be with us right ?"A quick „of course" and a smile from Ji Hyeon seemed to reassure him.

I lead them both to the door and saw someone sitting in a car, probably Yoon. Felix waved goodbye to me before Ji Hyeon lifted him up into the car and put his wheelchair in the trunk.

As I closed the door a feeling of guilt overcame me. I am still lying to him! I had the opportunity to tell him everything, the truth but of course I had to chicken out. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the benzodiazepines package, to calm my nerves. I filled up a glass with tap water and gulped two tablets down.

But something in me just boiled; I felt so angry at myself, I hate if someone lies to me and yet I do it myself.

„It's not even my fault." I whispered like a mantra before I screamed and threw the glass in my hand against the wall. „It's not my fault!" Hot tears started to pour down my cheeks as I propped up myself on the counter while the tear drops hit the kitchen counter „Hah what am I even saying of course it's my fault..."

„Chan ?" I quickly wiped the tears away and turned around. I didn't even heard when Jisung and Minho entered the kitchen. „How ?" I wanted to question but my voice gave in.

Jisung pointed at the back and explained „Your spare key, we- we heard you and then something-" Jisung looked around and spotted the smashed glass on the floor.

„clashing.." Minho continued „We were worried so we used the spare key under the plant." I hummed but wasn't really listening. „Did you take these ?" Jisung asked and held up the package benzodiazepines. I nodded and replied with a deep sigh „Yes...I just had to- had to calm my nerves." My voice is still a bit shaky and far from stable.

Jisung filled up a glass with tap water and lead me to a chair. „Chan you should sit down." I refused, but Jisung still dragged me to the chair so I snapped. „Jisung I don't want to sit, I don't need a fucking chair right now, It won't make anything better!" Minho looked surprised and gently put Jisungs arm away from me.

„What even happened that you smashed a glass against the wall ?!" Jisung asked and still pushed the filled up glass in my hand. I gulped everything down and set the glass far away from me, so I won't smash another one.

„I- I had a nightmare, it was about the accident, it was as if I experienced the crash another time. The screams, the crashsound the lost feeling. Everything felt so real. It was horrible- then Felix wanted to wear the hoodie that he had in the accident, it triggered me so much- Felix looked so upset when I told him that I threw it away. But I couldn't stand it anymore, the hoodie would remind me that ITS MY FAULT THAT HE GOT IN A CRASH!" My fist collided with the table and the sound startled Jisung but after a second he just looked worriedly at my hand.

„Did-„ Minho started but looked at my face as if he could continue. „Did you told him, uhm the ...the truth ?" Jisung gave his boyfriend a look as if he wanted to say 'You can't ask that.' „I really wanted to tell him the truth, I even started my sentence but then I chickened out and straight up lied in his face for the nth time. Again I couldn't tell him, I just couldn't!" Jisung sighed and put his hand on my shoulder in a calming manner.

„That's good because-"

„WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S GOOD? NOTHING IS GOOD I AM STILL JUST LYING TO HIM ABOUT EVERYTHING, I AM THE WORST BROTHER SOMEONE EVER COULD HAVE. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LIE TO YOUR BROTHER ALL THE TIME, FEELING GUILTY AFTER EVERY SENTENCES THAT LEAVES MY MOUTH, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED TO TELL HIM THAT IT IS MY FAULT THAT I AM THAT AWFUL PERSON WHO HIT HIM WITH THE GODDAMN CAR. I AM THAT PERSON HE WANTS TO SEE IN JAIL! I EVEN LIED TO HIM ABOUT WHAT I WAS THINKING; DO YOU KNOW WHY, DO YOU?" The last part sounded terribly sarcastic.

„Chan I-" I didn't even let Jisung finish his sentence.

„BECAUSE THE ONLY THING I WAS THINKING ABOUT TODAY WAS HOW I WAS DRVING THIS GODDAMN CAR AND- AND FELIX WAS RIGHT INFRONT OF ME- THEN THE SCREAMS. IT'S MY FAULT, ITS MY OWN FAULT THAT FELIX IS IN A WHEELCHAIR. I AM THE ONE WHO HIT HIM WITH THE CAR AND I AM NOW LYING TO HIM RATHER THAN TELLING HIM EVERYTHING!" Out of rage I pushed everything that was near me down from the table. Afterwards I felt stupid for it because it won't help at all and Jisung crouched down to pick up the things from the floor. „Just let them there." Minho whispered and helped his boyfriend up.

„W-...What?" The voice sounded so broken and so fragile. „Felix..." We three said in unision. I turned around. And saw Felix with JiHyeon in the hallway. No, no no that can't be, he can't know about the truth like that. It isn't even that I told him but that he found out by himself.

„Felix, Hey it's-, it's not like that. You hear me ?" I took a step forward because Felix was just staring at me with so much hurt in his eyes. But he pushed his wheelchair a step back. „Felix please, let me- let me explain." Minho put his arm infront of me so I wouldn't step further.
„You-." Felix couldn't get another word out of his mouth before hot tears rolled down his cheeks and a broken sob shook his body. It's hurtful to watch him from far away and not being able to embrace him while reassuring that everything will be fine. Because we all know that nothing will be fine even after a hug.

„Please Lix you have to trust me I'm so sorry about everything that happened, so sorry." Tears build up in my eyes and a familiar feeling of being lost filled up my chest, when I heard Felix's choked sobs.

I pushed Minhos hand away and wanted to go near Felix, but JiHyeon mouthed a silent ‚don't he needs space.' So I just looked at Felix from a far and didn't moved an inch. JiHyeon crouched next to Felix and tried to hold his hand but the latter whispered a broken ‚don't touch please' before he put his face full with tears in his hands and let the sobs wreck his body even more.

„You- Y-you are the one who w-was dri-ving." I bit my lips to stop my tears with no avail. „I- ...yes, but it was an accident you have to believe me Felix."

He wiped his tears away with his sleeve of his hoodie. „You lied. You told me that you found me on the street. Y-you lied. Everyone of you did!" He raised his voice but it still sounds so broken.

„D-did you ever wanted to tell me the truth by yourself ?"

„Of course but the right moment was never there." I tried to explain. Tried.

„Right moment...I always asked you if something was wrong you could've told me anytime Chris." He looked at Jisung. „A-and you." Jisung straightens himself up. „You knew about it? Yet you- you never said anything. I trusted you." Felixs voice broke in the middle of the sentence because of a sob which left his lips.

„I trusted everyone of you, even you Minho...that's just betrayal."

Minho and Jisung couldn't say anything.

When Felix again bursted into tears, my feet were moving on their own. I pushed Jisung and Minho away and run up to Felix, who just wanted to push his wheelchair back. But I quickly got on my knees and gripped his armrest. „L-let g-go!" I shook my head and my grip even got stronger. I couldn't let go and risk losing him. „Chan let go he clearly needs his space right now." Ji Hyeon said and tried to get me away from Felix, soon Jisung and Minho came and dragged me a meter apart from Felix. „NO, please Felix I am so sorry, it wasn't my intention. I was drunk it was stupid for me to drive, I really shouldn't have done that but Chang-" Jisung quicky cut me off „CHAN!" It sounds as if he wants me to tell that I shouldn't say it. Shouldn't say that Changbin was involved.

When Felix is already angry and upset with me than he should also hate Changbin..........
I can't take his last person he can rely on. His last person he will trust. Can I ?

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Welp Felix now knows that Chan was involved and also that Minsung are liars who he have trusted. :(
Hope you didn't forgot YOON ;) He will definetly appear in the next chapter but also Changbin.
By the way I saw that I gained new follower I am really thankful to you guys to evryone who supports me and just reads this fanfiction feel hugged by me. And please leave comments if you have some in your mind because it's always so funny to read them XD