Drown in You

25. Merry Christmas

"Will, get up." A hand reached out and shook my shoulder.

Instinctively, in my half-asleep state, I reached out and slapped it away.

"Ow!"

I forced my eyes open and squinted as Eliot's figure, rubbing his arm, slowly came into focus. I sighed. "Dude, you have to stop doing that."

"You have to get up," Eliot said. "We're going to church."

"...Church?" Not once had this family been to church the entire time I'd been living here.

"Yeah, we go to church on Christmas Eve," Eliot explained reluctantly.

I sat up and rolled my eyes. So they were performative Christians. A lot of the families I'd been with were like that-- only go to church on the religious occasions to do the bare minimum to keep up appearances. I sighed. To be honest I'd nearly forgotten about Christmas if it wasn't for me and Noah arranging to meet up in the afternoon today and exchange gifts.

After a minute, I looked up to see Eliot was still looming over the bed. "I got it, I got it. I'm getting up,"

•••

At church, I ended up uncomfortably sandwiched between Bill and Elliot. Despite my best attempts to just zone out, Elliot kept fidgeting and Bill kept silently scolding Elliot for fidgeting and sternly staring at me for, well, existing. Safe to say I was on edge.

Church was interesting. It was difficult to understand some of the things in the sermon. Aside from the weird religious bible lore, the simple idea that "God" loves us was hard to wrap my mind around. I sat in the pew, trying not to frown at the question that kept popping up in my mind non-stop: If there was a God who loved us, then why did we suffer?

If God loved us, why did he give me this life? Why didn't he give me a happy family or even a home? Why did he let me suffer?

•••

After church, I quickly asked Carol if I could go over to Noah's. She was in a super happy mood because of the holidays, so she even offered to drive me.

In the car, she looked at the gift bag in my lap. "How nice of you to get gifts for your friends."

I nodded. She still didn't know he was more than a friend and I planned on keeping it that way.

I was actually pretty nervous for today, because I would be meeting Noah's parents for the first time. I'd tried to pick a decent outfit so there was a chance I wouldn't seem as much like a loser, but I was pretty sure they'd be able to see through it. Based on everything I knew so far about them, I seemed like the exact kind of a kid they'd dislike.

When the car pulled up to the house, I took a deep breath before getting out, walking up the path to the door, and ringing the bell.

Noah's mom answered the door. I don't know what I expected her to look like, but I was surprised to see a face that resembled Noah's almost entirely, down to those kind brown eyes.

Her lips spread into a smile. "Hi! You must be Will, come on in."

I realized I was staring and quickly nodded. "Thanks for having me over."

Noah showed up almost immediately behind his mom. "You're here!"

"Hey." I smiled.

"My husband is running some errands but you can meet him during dinner," Noah's mom said. "We aren't the best cooks, so we're going to order in if that's alright with you."

I nodded. "Ok."

Her glassy smile didn't waver as she looked at me. I wondered if my outfit wasn't good enough after all.