Drown in You

37. I'm fine

Filming in NYC was no joke. Every location shoot required road closures, police to keep onlookers and superfans at bay, and hoards of extras to repopulate the streets that had previously been emptied out.

Today was no different, but after a month of filming, outdoor shoots were finally beginning to feel less overwhelming. I stood on the sidelines with Kate and watched as Noah filmed. It was an emotional scene, clearly near the climax of the film. Noah had to chase Taylor Dalton's character out into a busy intersection. As he chased her, a car would stop abruptly, almost hitting him. The stunt was simple, so Noah said there was no need for a double. He coordinated with the director and the car driver beforehand and everything was good to go.

Except it wasn't.

"CUT!!!!!" The boom of the director's voice rang in my ears.

I didn't know exactly what went wrong— it all seemed like a blur. Suddenly, Noah was on the ground and there was a collective gasp. The director ran forward instantly, closely followed by the other production members.

Time seemed to stop. I couldn't do anything but watch in horror.

Kate shook me by the shoulders. "Will, are you hearing me?? Go get the first aid kit. Now!!"

Her voice sounded like it was underwater. I shut my eyes and exhaled, trying to calm my pounding heart. "Going."

I ran on shaking legs to the trailer and wrenched the door open. I was hyperventilating.

"Fuck!" I yelled through frantic breaths and clenched a hand to my chest. Why now??

I attempted to push through what was now a full-blown panic attack, stumbling towards the cabinet that held the first aid kit.

My heart continued to beat faster and faster as inexplicable fear possessed me until I couldn't think of anything else. The ringing in my ears grew louder as the first aid kit, just out of reach, went in and out of focus. Some kind of mangled sound escaped me before I felt myself collapse.

•••

A repeated beeping broke through the blankness of sleep and I groaned as consciousness hit me. My head was killing me. It was so bright— I squinted to see my surroundings and then panic hit me as I realized where I was.

The hospital was a place that held exactly zero good memories for me. In fact, it had punctuated some of the worst moments in my life. Just the sterile smell of the place threatened to conjure memories I never wanted to revisit again.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up, intent on leaving, but the room immediately started spinning.

A nurse ducked her head into the room. "You're awake. Do you remember what happened?"

I hesitated and scoured my memory. Then, with a pang of anxiety in my chest, it came back to me— first aid kit, panic attack—

"Noah, is he ok? Where is he?" I felt so guilty for being unable to help. Useless.

The nurse frowned sympathetically. "Mr. Smith is next door. He's ok. I'm here to talk to you about-"

I immediately began to struggle my way out of bed but the nurse rushed over and stopped me. "Mr. Parker, you need to stay in bed. You hit your head very hard when you fell. You've been out for two hours."

"What? No, I'm fine."

"We need you to stay here for some monitoring and tests. I assure you, Mr. Smith is perfectly fine. We're more concerned about your condition at this time."

"I'd like to leave."

"I strongly advise against that."

"So discharge me AMA," I persisted. "Can't you do that?"

The nurse sighed. "I'll get the doctor and she can talk to you about this more. Can you do me a favor and stay put until then? A little rest can't hurt you, but if you really want to leave, leave after talking to the doctor."

I had no interest in spending any more time in the hospital than necessary, but the nurse didn't seem like she'd take no for an answer. Reluctantly, I conceded. "Fine."

As soon as she was gone, I stood up. The room spun for a moment, but I pressed forward. Noah's room wasn't hard to find— Jonah, his security guard, stood outside nursing a warm drink.

He was mid-sip when he saw me, but he immediately swallowed and looked me up and down. "Hey man, you ok?"

"Yeah, thanks," I half-lied. "Is Noah inside?"

Jonah nodded. "Looks worse than it is."

I raised a brow.

"Feel free to see for yourself." With that strange warning, he stepped aside and I opened the door.

Noah was sitting up in bed scrolling on his phone. He quickly put it away when he saw me. "Oh my god, are you ok?"

"That's what I want to ask you," I replied.

Noah smiled. "I'm fine. Just a little scratched up and my ankle is sprained. I'm more worried about the news..."

"What happened, exactly?"

"Minor accident," Noah said. "The driver braked a split second too late and I got knocked over. But really, everyone's overreacting. I feel so embarrassed."

"You're hurt, people are worried. There's nothing embarrassing about that."

"I don't know. I feel stupid for insisting on doing it myself."

"Hey, shit happens," I tried to reassure him. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Noah smiled "Thanks. Are you ok though? Kate said she found you in the trailer... you wouldn't wake up. She- she had to call 911."

I sighed, cringing inside, and fidgeted with the flimsy hem of my hospital shirt. "Damn. Now THAT'S embarrassing."

"What happened?"

I laughed awkwardly. I didn't want to admit that I still struggled with panic attacks, all these years later; it felt shameful. "I ran too fast to the trailer. I think I was just dehydrated. Stupid mistake."

"It could've been a lot worse. It's really good Kate found you."

"It shouldn't have happened at all," I persisted, trying to play it off and act like it was no big deal, but I couldn't come up with anything better to say— my head was still pounding. I raised a hand to my bandaged temple as if that would make any difference.

Noah must've noticed the pain on my face. "You sure you don't need to sit down?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine. I'm leaving soon, I just wanted to stop by to make sure you were ok before I go."

"You should stay," Noah insisted. "Please don't worry about hospital bills, if that's what you're concerned about."

"No, I," I hesitated for a moment, unsure what exactly to say. "I should really go. Hospitals aren't a good spot, um, for me."

Realization flashed across Noah's face. "Shit, yeah of course."

I looked away, my embarrassment only growing. I didn't remember ever telling him about my childhood time in the hospital when we were dating. I forced a small grin. "Thanks. Feel better soon, ok?"

"Right back at you." Noah's voice was happy, but his smile was sad.

•••

A/N
More eventful chapter today. I hope you enjoyed it ♡
Your votes and comments make my day!
-Jay