Drown in You

33. Haven't changed one bit

Life took an uptick for the next few weeks. My thoughts were still full of Noah but in an entirely different way; I felt lifted up and excited by thinking of him instead of hopeless and full of despair. That wasn't to say everything was perfect– complex feelings of abandonment and wariness still remained, making me hesitant to act on my thoughts.

Today was a rainy afternoon. I laid in bed, staring at the business card I'd gotten on the day of the talk show, at the messily written number on the back. I wanted to call it so bad. I'd gotten close too; once, I typed the whole number into my phone and stared at it, finger hovering over the dial button, for nearly 20 minutes. In the end, I still hadn't been able to do it.

Part of me worried that it had been too long now since our dream-like encounter, and if I called the number now it would be too late. That I let him slip away again because of my indecisiveness.

Abruptly, I got out of bed and went to the kitchen. I poured myself a shot of the strongest liquor we had at home and forced myself to drink it. When the burning faded, I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"You can do this!" I yelled out to myself and pulled out my phone once again, dialing before I could stop myself.

Anxiety set in almost immediately. It took everything in me not to hang up as the dial tone rang.

"Hello?"

I gasped. It was really him. What do I say? Would he recognize my voice?

"Hello?? Who is this?"

I took a deep breath. "H- hi."

Now it was Noah's turn for silence. After a few seconds of only phone static, he spoke again. "Will? Is that you?"

I nodded but then remembered he couldn't see me. "Yeah."

"Oh my god, I didn't think you would call." His voice came out in a tumble.

"I can't believe it's you," I said finally.

I heard Noah laugh on the other end of the line. "I can't believe it's you! I was so shocked when I saw you in that crowd."

"I didn't think you would recognize me," I admitted. I was so sure I'd been forgotten, left behind, thrown away.

"How could I not? You haven't changed one bit."

My cheeks flushed. "I have!!"

I might not have had a glow up at Noah's level, but I definitely looked different than I did in high school.

"Nope, not one bit," Noah insisted, laughing.

Suddenly, I felt a strange feeling come over me. What was I doing? Why were we just talking like this, so normally? It had been 5 years since we spoke and yet here we were just on the phone. I couldn't process it.

"I want to see you again," I blurted out suddenly. My heart pounded as soon as I said those words. I couldn't believe I was being assertive like this. I clenched my eyes shut, convinced he would say no. What kind of top star has time to meet a random person like me?

But Noah didn't say no. He replied almost immediately, "I want to see you too."

I was shocked. "...You do?"

"Of course! Why do you think I gave you my number?"

•••

Two days later, here I was.

Noah gave me the address for where to meet up. We didn't have a whole lot of options because he wasn't exactly just any old guy anymore. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't the enormous and fancy looking hotel in Manhattan that I was standing in the elevator of right now. I had been so nervous approaching the building, what with the doormen and concierge and general rich atmosphere, that I almost turned back.