Fire and Ice
The weeks that passed by felt like a blink of bliss. It was swift yet not shallow; it was smooth and sanguine.
I scattered my sight around the gleaming lamp as I opened my mind towards the previous events I had spent with Dos. I laid my body on the warm mattress as the coldness began to cripple my skin. It was raining heavily, yet the menace brought by the rage of my heart remained undaunted. It thumped so dangerously that I felt breathless for a moment.
Ang paalam ko lang ay magpapalit ako ng damit subalit bakit hindi ko na magawang harapin pa si Dos na naghihintay sa sala? Hindi ko magawang limutin ang usapan nila ni lola. Dos needs to go home now. Gabi na subalit ramdam ko pa rin ang mainit niyang presensya. He is waiting for me. Batid kong nais niya munang magpaalam.
A sudden knock on my door has wrecked my thoughts.
"Stephie, 8 p.m. na! Ang tagal mo namang magpalit? Kailangan nang umuwi ni Dos," wika ni lola.
I exhaled heavily.
"Osige, momma."
He is leaving. Once again, I felt the embrace of loneliness. When did I start craving more than I deserved? This moment inevitably reminds me of my shattered dream. I expelled my breath.
It was raining so heavily that even the umbrella might be destroyed at anytime. The raindrops were perfectly embracing my skin as I was bidding my sweet goodbye. The moon was not shining and it was hidden behind the dark and suicidal sky. There was a blazing light that struck the horizon. It was the lightning of fear, destruction, and sorrow. After its flaring light, a rumbling sound suddenly knocked my young heart. It was the thunder of uncertainty.
I can clearly remember the calendar that I marked. On the 25th of July, my parents left me all by myself. They left me amidst the drizzling rain. They tainted my dreams.
"Ali, we will come back, okay? Just wait for mommy and daddy!" my mother cheerfully said as she wiped the drops of rain on my face.
I was crying and begging helplessly yet they never listened to my plea. I was a broken and an unwanted child. I want a family. But, I never felt their warmth and care. I never felt how the gentleness of their fingertips caress my young heart.
"Mommy! Daddy! Balik kayo, hah?! Dito lang ako sa tabi ni lola!" I hid behind my brave mask, convinced that it was the best way to reveal my independence and strength.
I was a fool.
What I did back then was not a heroic act, rather a foolish and nonsensical decision.
"Pumasok ka na, Alannah. Basang-basa ka na. Babalik kami," seryosong wika ni daddy at niyakap ako nang mahigpit.
His hug was cold and deadly. I felt nothing but pain. I never felt their sincerity.
They made me believe that love was cold as ice. Love was a tragic play. Love was a gruesome word that could finish off the rose-colored glass. Love was a distorted reality. Love was not real and it did not exist.
BINABASA MO ANG
Just a Pain Reliever (Pinili Series #1)
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