Just a Pain Reliever (Pinili Series #1)

Chapter 1

Dos

Heavy dusk, blizzards all over the heart, wind in disdain, wrath and tragedies become one.

I could not fathom how I ended up like this: chasing the scent of a lost person I once met. In the darkness, I would wait for his warm words. In the daylight, I would dream of his touch. In the afternoon light, I would reminisce about the promise he uttered. I never knew that it would ache this much to wait for a lifetime for a lost soul without any assurance. I wish to gaze once more at those dazzling eyes and hear his golden laugh. I did not care that people did not love me. He was enough. He left me, yet it did not hurt. I felt his care, and I wanted to sense it once again, even just for once.

"Zio?" I whispered and held his hand. His back was facing me. Yet I heard his name. I heard his name. Bryce, they said. 

"Zio?" he asked. Confusion wrinkled in his eyes. 

"Ikaw ba si Zio?" I asked. 

"Hindi. You got the wrong person," he said and pushed my arms. I heard his name. Yet why could he not remember me? 

"Ang pogi naman! First day of school pa lang pero may pogi na!" I heard the girls behind my back. 

Maybe I got the wrong person. 

In the deepest reaches of the morning air, when the birds drowse in the daylight and the trees are peacefully sinking in the tranquil wind, a flash of memory becomes clear in my head. It was filthy, deplorable, and disgusting. I could vomit and pass out. I did not dare think about it any longer. I loathed it.

I was reminded of how my parents cruelly left me in the rain. I remember it all clearly. It was a suffocating moment, a memory I wish I could forget, but it keeps resurfacing in my mind.

They did not love me at all. 

Maybe it was Cupid's plan to make us feel the thing called "love." Or perhaps it was just an imaginary feeling made up in our minds. And later on, after going through pain, we'll all end up blaming our hearts. Perhaps it is just a natural feeling for a human being. Or rather, love is not viscous enough. That is why it flows so easily.

I once thought that being romantically in love was so easy and would be the happiest feeling ever. But I guess love is far from a fairytale story. Reality is not a marvelous dream; it is a nightmare. It could be the greatest dream that everyone can achieve, yet in the end, all those beautiful, sparkling fantasies will end up as a dreadful miseries. Nothing special. Love is not special at all. It will only hurt you and make you shed tears. Love is just an invisible pain covered with sugary sweet feelings. 

Stop having visions in your head, because a seed that grows in dry soil will wither in vain, I sneered in my head. 

"Love is just a waste of your time-" I dramatically sighed when she cut me off.

"Shut up, Alannah. Hindi mo pa nga nararanasang magkanobyo. Kahit isang manliligaw ay wala! Tigilan mo na 'yang mga hugot mo sa buhay. Love is love! Stop contradicting my belief!" Patricille said. Her teeth gritted each other. 

She flipped her brown straight hair while glaring at me. 

I calmly released a breath and silently rolled my eyes. I gazed at her black shoes. I smirked and stepped on it. I am not done yet. I dirtied her white socks.