Love breaks chains - English version

Chapter fourteen

I wake up with a slight headache and wonder why the vodka had to be there. I don't know anymore. Oh who am I kidding here? Of course I remember. To numb. Because of Magnus and his behavior. Now in the light of the new day, I feel the disappointment clearly.

And again I lie in this bed and stare at the ceiling. And again my thoughts are with a man. My stranger. And with Magnus. I can't get his eyes out of my head. I keep seeing them in front of me. But I also have Copp's words in my head. I hear them as if he were saying them to me.

Magnus thinking of another man while kissing me hit me hard. I'm still disappointed. But also angry. Yes I am angry. Because I wasn't thinking about another man while he was doing it. All I was thinking about the whole time was that it felt right. I wonder how far we would have gone if he hadn't ended the kiss. How much closeness would I have allowed?

The experience with Copp, the sextalk was breathtaking and felt forbidden good. The conversation that followed drove away my insecurity, the lightness, the carefree returned. I was very happy about that. Once again, I realized how important Copp has become to me.

This whole situation confused me. Copperfield and Magnus. Both men in my thoughts. I feel sick and right now I just want to enjoy the silence of the dawning morning. But I have to get up. Urgently. I need to get my circulation going and banish these confusing thoughts.

Hot water and steam await me in the shower. Just like every morning. I rest my head on the back of my neck and the hot water falls in fine streams on my face, bubbling off my skin over my neck and chest. A man's body forms out of the wisps of mist, his hands resting against my hips, his thumbs gently stroking my skin. Like every morning. His lips lay against my neck and suck, leaving a trail of pleasure. Just like every morning.

As my hand slides down my chest and stomach to my penis, the man whispers words in my ear. 'Think of me.' His tongue runs over my neck, he lightly bites my neck, and my hand runs over my hard cock in quick motions. Just like every morning.
Quite clearly the shapes of the body form out of the vapor, are not blurred as before. It is clearly the body of Copperfield. But the eyes belong to Magnus.

This image in my head, Copp's body and Magnus' eyes makes my mind go haywire and my climax comes faster than I'd like. I moan and claw at the grout on the tiles. Hot I come in my hand, watching my cum mix with the water at my feet.
The last waves of orgasm resonate through my body. Surreal it feels. This feeling of having something familiar in front of my eyes, but not being able to grasp it. Magnus mixed with Copp, I feel slightly dizzy and a slight feeling of shame settles over me.

After a long shower I go back to the guest room and to the closet. In a small compartment are a few things of mine. These will disappear in the next few months and be replaced by new ones. Then this will no longer be my room, my retreat with my best friend. But that's not a bad thing, it's okay. I'm happy for the new purpose of the room and for my two best friends.

As a thank you for letting me stay over, I prepare breakfast for Jace and Clary. The house is quiet, Jace's snoring coming from the room across from mine. I smirk, poor Clary. After copious amounts of alcohol, Jace saws down entire forests with his snoring. Scrambled eggs with bacon and buttered toast for Jace. Pancakes with honey for Clary. If there's one thing I know how to do, it's cook. Mum made sure early on that her children wouldn't have to starve when they were away from home. Izzy is an even better cook than me, Simon is really lucky.

"Good morning big boy", Clary hugs me lovingly from behind and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I have to bend down to her for that. She is really very small. Unlike me, that is.
"Morning", I murmur.
"Did you sleep well?", she asks, nuzzling her head against my back. She's been very clingy for a few weeks now. Besides Izzy and Jace, Clary is the only one allowed to touch me like this.

Immediately, a thought pops into my head, followed by an image and another. When is this going to end?
"Would you like some coffee? Oh sorry, no more coffee. Tea?", I ask, thus banishing those images.
"I'd love one. I'm afraid we're out of cereal", says Clary guiltily.
"That's okay", Scrambled eggs work, too.
"But to make up for it, I have this for you." Beaming with delight, she holds out a newspaper to me. My family knows I indulge in this ritual. Clary and Jace Herondale are part of my family.

"Alec?", asks Clary.
"Hmmm", I answer her, scooping the first pancakes onto her plate.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"I saw you on the porch last night." Abruptly, I stop what I'm doing. The bacon is sizzling in the pan. I watch the edges turn dark.

"With Magnus", I hear Clary say, and by now the bacon is very crispy. I quickly take it out of the pan and put it on the plate with the scrambled eggs. I add a dab of ketchup and sit down next to Clary at the kitchen island. The scrambled eggs are delicious. I purposely ignore her words. Maybe she forgets what she was going to say.

"Did you kiss?" Of course she doesn't forget.
"Who kissed who?", I hear Jace ask sleepily, almost choking on my scrambled eggs in shock.