Love breaks chains - English version

Chapter twenty-five

Jace once said to me that I would know when the right man was standing in front of me. And right now I feel like the right man is in my arms. I have never been alone. Jace was always there for me. So was Izzy and later Clary. I could always be sure of their love.

Magnus strokes through my hair, his forehead leaning against mine. Hot tears run freely down my face, I sob and feel his breath on my lips.
"Talk to me, Alexander", he whispers, and I take a deep breath.
"What can I do? Are you in pain?", asks Magnus worriedly.
"No", I sob.
"It's just... I've never felt this way before."

"Then it's about time you felt how beautiful it can be." He hesitantly kisses my lips and I sigh as the tip of his tongue touches mine. It's a soulful kiss, not hurried and urgent. I lose myself in the feeling. His hands gently caress my skin, his lips tenderly caressing mine.

"How do you feel?", asks Magnus, and I don't have to think about it for long.
"Very good. Secure", I answer softly and now it's Magnus who sighs.
"That's nice. That's the way it should be. Are you going to shower first?", I nod and Magnus carefully pulls away.
"Slow down", he says, holding out his hand to me. His caring makes my heart beat faster and I see him smile.

After my shower, I sit up in bed and listen to the patter of the water. I hear Magnus humming and my lips form the corresponding lyrics. He comes out of the bathroom and stands around indecisively in the bedroom. I look at him and my heart tightens painfully. Does he want to leave? Was it not as nice for him as he claimed? Shame and sadness cover my mind like a blanket. I wish he would stay. But I can also understand if he would rather leave. The thought that I am only a one-night stand, a fuck because he was horny hurts and hurts me a lot. The good feeling, the security and lightheartedness slowly dissolves.

"Alexander?" A tear comes out of the corner of my eye and I lower my head. I don't want him to see me cry.
"Do you want me to leave?", he asks timidly and I shake my head.
"Do you want me to stay?", I nod. I want nothing more than for him to stay. This night is supposed to be just ours. Reality will catch up with me tomorrow morning, and until then I want to enjoy this newfound feeling of happiness.

Magnus lies down next to me and pulls me into his arms. I nestle my back against his naked upper body. He puts one arm protectively around me and intertwines the fingers of his other hand with mine. The warmth of his body envelops us. His quiet even breathing and the warm breath that tickles the back of my neck make me sleepy. Before I change into the dream world I hear Magnus whispering softly: "Sleep well Alexander" and breathe a kiss into my neck.

I wake up from a dreamless sleep and I am cold. The blanket has slipped off my body and no one is there to warm me. Blindly, I grope beside me and startle up. The bed is empty, the pillow rumpled, the sheets cold. Magnus is not lying next to me. I listen into the silence of the dawning morning, but no sound can be heard. The shower is silent, the radio turned off, no clatter of dishes in the kitchen.

The images of last night pass me by, I smell the aroma of sandalwood and taste the sweetness from his lips. But he's not here. Why did he just leave like that? Does he regret it. Was the sex with me so bad that he just disappears without a word of goodbye? Did I imagine the attraction between us? A heaviness settles on my heart, squeezes tight and threatens to engulf me. I feel used.

A hiss breaks the silence and brings me out of my thoughts. The smell of coffee rises to my nose and my heart leaps. Didn't he leave after all? I slowly get up and grab a new pair of boxers from the closet. The door to my bedroom is ajar and hesitantly I enter the living room. Magnus is standing at the kitchen counter, his back turned to me, and I gulp as I look at him more closely.

Actually, I'm staring at him. The sight sends all the blood to my nether regions and I almost forget to breathe.
The hair lies wildly on his head and is jet black. His back is muscular and forms a perfect V. The muscles push through the honey colored skin and the shorts almost slip off his hips. It's one of mine and it's a little too big for him. The top of his pow bulge is exposed and he nibbles at the waistband to get them back in place.

His body almost drives me out of my mind and I whimper softly. Magnus turns in my direction and I feel like I'm going to collapse at any moment.
I see images of Copperfield, his chest and muscular arms. The caramel colored skin and the darker nipples. I hear Magnu's moans and Copp's long deep gasps as he leaps over the cliff.

I'm getting hot and sweaty. I'm shaking all over and feel like a fraud right now. With Copp I wrote many and long messages. The content profound and serious. But also silly and funny. He knows me well and I know him. We told each other things from our lives that others don't even confide in their spouse. But with him, I had no problem with that.

I've known Magnus for three weeks. We barely spoke to each other. Copp kept asking me out. And I hurt him by turning down his request. My fear was just too great. The realization that I let Magnus into my bed with no problem and spent a great night with him solidifies in my mind.

Copperfield is not my handsome stranger. Magnus is a stranger. I desire both men. And this realization hits me hard and unexpectedly.