Break Me One More Time [McLennon]

1991-2001 (epilogue ii)

Trigger warnings: coming out, mentions of guns, some violence, period-typical homophobia

***

The question was, how to do it? They agonized over this question for a couple weeks before they had to focus on getting ready for their televised Christmas special that was quickly approaching. They had been planning it since early that year.

The idea didn't even cross their minds. The controversy that it would cause was just astronomical. Neither Paul nor John had it on their list of ideas for how to do it, but George and Ringo both suggested to them:

"Do it at the end of the Christmas special."

They couldn't. That's what they said anyway. Not on live television. On Christmas.

"The number of people who'll be watching..." Paul paled at the thought of them all.

"Think of how many young queer people are going to be watching," George said smiling.

John hummed. "How many kids are gonna watch and grow up and turn out to be gay. That's life changing, to see yourself on screen like everyone else."

Paul looked at him, eyes wide. They were doing something pretty outrageous as it was, for the time. They were early. Something like that would be very early. It would make a lot of waves. "We might get in trouble with the Council if we do something like that."

"Oh, the Council's leaving us to our business," George said, waving him off. "They knew things would change. I mean —"

"I'm alive in this timeline," John cut in. "They had to know I'd cause some trouble."

Paul rolled his eyes. "I think they expect us to be on our best behavior actually."

John, George, and Ringo all seemed to have decided that it was a great idea, however, and looked on at Paul expectantly, awaiting his final answer.

"Well," Paul sighed. "If for no other reason than to test our limits with Marbella," he laughed, "sure, why not? Let's do it."

***

Their Christmas special setlist consisted of several of their favorite holiday songs, two of their own non-holiday songs set to some jingle bells to make them sound more festive, and two "brand new" songs. Then they would end with a small speech from each of them.

The set was extravagant. Sparkling bits of cotton hung from the ceiling and gave the impression that it was snowing. The fake snow on the ground completed the impression. The Beatles were posed on a sleek black stage in the middle of it all, dressed in matching velvety red suits.

The four of them stood on stage a couple hours before the show so that the designers and technicians could do their final adjust on the lighting. Paul couldn't stop looking around at all of them, into each of their faces, and thinking about how none of them knew what they were about to be part of. Some of them might be angry.

The light check was done and the Beatles were sent back to their very large dressing room.

Paul tried to push his feelings of nervousness away but he just couldn't help it. What they were about to do was absolutely monumental. He tried to think of what other changes this might cause, what a huge wave this could create. The others noticed his nervousness and bugged him about it. He told them what he was thinking about.

"Do you think they'll pull the plug on the show?" John said.

"Maybe," Paul said.

"I think they'll be too shocked," George said.