Break Me One More Time [McLennon]

in which paul is ready

     Paul couldn't believe that he'd really lost Linda again, and he hadn't even been given a chance to save her. He kept trying to think of a way to bring her back but there was no way. She was gone. Again.

      As August faded into September, and the band was playing more and more at the Cavern Club, and John's nightmares continued every night, Paul began to wonder if this was worth it. Would he even be able to save John or George? And what if Barney wasn't all that he said he was?

     And speaking of Barney! Why hasn't he shown up since the beginning of August? Paul had some very strong words to say to him.

      One night, after a performance, George came to stay with John and Paul for the night. John went to bed when they got back but Paul said he was staying up for a while and George decided to stay with Paul.

     "Want a ciggie?" George offered.

     Paul frowned. "No, I've decided to quit, actually."

     "Really? Why?" George said.

      "Cigarettes are awful for you, you know," Paul said. "They'll kill you. They turn your lungs black and make it hard to breathe."

      George stared down at the cigarette in his hand and then slipped it back into the box. "So, tonight's show was good, eh?"  

     "Oh, yeah," Paul nodded in agreement. "It was aweso- gear!"

      "Yeah," George nodded. "I especially thought - "

      "NO!"

     George looked up toward the bedroom. "Uh,"

     "Shit," Paul hissed. "Hold on, Georgie, I'll be right back." He ran from the kitchen as John started screaming, "PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Paul collapsed onto his knees beside John and shook him awake. "John! It's okay!"

     John flung his arms around Paul and held him closer than ever. "Oh, God," his breathing was heavy and unsteady. "I - I thought - "

      "I'm fine, John, I promise," Paul said. "Okay? Get some rest, yeah?"

     John nodded slowly and let his eyes close again. Paul sat there and waited until John's breathing was steady once more, signaling that he was asleep. Paul got to his feet, then, and went back to the kitchen where George was standing with an expression that was in intense mixture of worry and confusion.

      "What the hell was that about?" George questioned.

      "It's nothing," Paul sighed. "Well," he leaned against the counter. "Actually, it is something. But we're dealing with it. John's just been having these god awful nightmares is all, but they just won't seem to quit. It's been over a month now since they started."

      "Shouldn't you take him to a therapist or something?" George said.

     "Yeah, like John will listen to me," Paul rolled his eyes.

      "Sometimes I think that you're the only one that he'll ever really listen to," George said and Paul frowned. "You're his best friend. And you know what? He lost his mum, his dad's never been around - not since he was a kid, so all he's got is you, me, Pete, and Mimi. Now he's not that close with Pete and he misses Stuart and I'll never be as close to him as you or Stuart. Mimi nags him nonstop about all sorts of things, but he loves her. So you and her...you two are his family. His real family."

     Paul didn't say anything, he just took the kettle and went to the sink to fill it. He lit the stove and put the kettle on.

     "Paul, it's okay," George shrugged his shoulders. "It's just because you're his best friend and he doesn't usually get as close to people as he is to you so quickly."