Break Me One More Time [McLennon]

in which life still goes on

MAY 1970

"It's happening."

Martha barked.

"It is, it's really happening."

Martha barked again.

"I can't believe it! I mean, today's the day."

Martha barked once more, louder this time.

"The day is really here..."

Martha resorted to whining, thinking that maybe that would get her somewhere and it did. Paul turned away from the mirror built into his dresser.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my dear," he said, a smile spreading widely across his face. "I didn't mean to ignore you," he sighed and he began scratching behind her ears. "I just can't believe I'm getting married, is all. It's been a long time since I've been married, and John doesn't know about any of that, of course." He chuckled to himself. "It's just..." he kept on petting Martha, looking off into space, getting lost inside his head. "You know, I love John so much. I really do, there is no denying that. I feel like I always have to keep saying it, though, over and over... and I hate that today is the day that I — I mean, I suppose it makes sense really. Because if it weren't for all this — if it weren't for him and me and if it weren't for the F.H.O., I mean... well, Linda and I would've been married about a year ago, now."

Martha leaned in, sniffing at Paul's suit jacket.

Paul shook himself and laughed. "Well, look at me. Talking to a dog," he sighed. "But then again, you're not just any dog are you... You're Martha, my dear."

Martha barked in his face.

"At least, I think you are," Paul sighed. "I didn't find you in enough time, and I found you somewhere else. But you look just like her, you know. I think you're the same dog."

Martha gave him a great big lick across his face.

Paul smiled. "Yeah, you've got to be. At least, that's what I'm going to tell myself, anyway."

"Knock, knock," someone said as they knocked at the door, then poked their head in.

"George," Paul said, smiling.

"Hello," he said, entering the room and shutting the door behind himself. "Ringo suggested I go check on John and he come see you. I managed to switch it around in case you were freaking out for... certain... reasons."

"Oh, right," Paul laughed anxiously.

"I... I don't know if I should say it," George said. "But I suspect you've been thinking about — well, just with today being what it is — I mean, what with you doing what you're going to do today and all, I just thought that — I really should just keep my mouth shut, actually. I think. I'll go."

"No, George," Paul said. "It's fine. You're right. I am... thinking."

"About..." George said slowly, and trailed off.

"Her," Paul said.

George heaved a sigh. "Right, okay, yeah. So that's what I was thinking. But I didn't want to, like, say it."

"Yeah," Paul sighed. He sat down at the foot of the bed. John was getting dressed in their shared bedroom, so he was in one of the guest bedrooms. He began to pet Martha absentmindedly once more.

"Do you — do you wanna talk about it?" George asked.

"I... I don't know," Paul said. He shrugged.