MY PREGNANT HUSBAND

18. Sexuality: Almost love

Y/N POV

My head spinned, tensed muscles ached and all I felt was nausea. Jerking off from bed I ran to washroom and puked all the toxicity into drain. My voice was so loud that for sure it would have ended up reaching every little organism as ants on floor to clearly hear it.

I continued to throw up until a hand stroked my back, soothing me to calm down after all efforts. I flopped on the floor regretting, obviously the drinks challenge was a lame idea. I turned around and saw Jungkook staring at me but his gaze gave me an unfamiliar vibe. It shown concern, care and guilt but why though? I really don't remember anything after the hangover took over.

I tried to match our eye contact but failed due to dizziness. With the help of wall I stood up and slowly walked back. Sitting on the bed I threw the head back on the headboard for support. Jungkook followed me, sitting beside me he said," I've already cooked the breakfast but I think you need to eat porridge."

"Leave me alone. I don't feel like eating anything. I'll pass, either way I have to go to company."

"You don't have to since I already informed Taehyung about your absence."

"But I have to go. It won't look good if the CEO always remains at home while his employees are working their ass off. 'Jungkook' has to be there, if not you then at least your body." I stood up, walking towards the closet I took a towel that I had to change into after freshening up. Turning to bathroom I was about to walk away when he held my wrist to ask one question that surprised me.

"Are you avoiding me?"

I pulled my hands, curving my lips into a fake smile." N-No, why would I? You're not a monster to avoid." This time I dashed in and closed the door behind, leaving Jungkook in the bedroom I took heavy breathing and gulped.

Why his question seemed to have double meaning? Was he really trying to hint that he wants to stay with me? No way! Maybe it was just my assumption that led me to think that way. I shrugged off the thought and went to take shower.

Coming out from there I changed into suit and went downstairs where Jungkook was silently sitting on the couch while fiddling with his slender fingers he was in his own world until he turned to look at me.

Going down I neglected his presence not because I hated him but I would had became weak, which was the least thing I wanted after witnessing his messages. He crushed my dignity, compared me to his assistant and was embarrassed of me as his wife then how could I force him to love me?

I believed love and hate were two antiparallel words, both requires deep passion.

I was wearing shoes when he stood in front of me."Could you come home early today?" Without answering him I stood, not giving him a single glance because I knew his glistening eyes would melt me. Thus, I opened the door and before going out I said," I'll try." After saying that I left fir the car then drove to the company, throughout the drive his words reverberated in mind.

I parked the car and went to the respective floor. I immediately got engaged in files and didn't realised when 2:45 pm occurred. After attending a meeting I entered the cabin I flopped on the chair and groaned from the dizziness. I called that good for nothing, Yuna to bring me a cup of strong black coffee.

Within minutes she appeared in her 'not so standard' dress. Her shoulders, partial chest and bare thighs were on display while her fallen hair dangled on her movements. God knows what language she understood because I was tired of teaching her a lesson or two. She wasn't a kid to be told everything and neither I was not in the mood to waste my time in this bitch.

"Good afternoon, sir." After placing the mug she backed off and tugged her hair behind her ear but only if she knew I don't give a damn about her catcall. She remained in front of me and that was unusual.

"Do you need anything?"

"Umm.. You see last year you threw a party on my birthday but this year I want you to join me to club."

What did she just said? He threw party and also for her while I worked my ass off on mine." Did I threw it only for you?" I asked to be sure.

"Don't you remember, sir? You throw a small gathering for every employee who ranks top?"

"So you topped?" I raised an eyebrow in disbelief." Not really but that day I gave nice presentation so you did it for me." She blushed but that only triggered my rage. I breathed out, gritting the teeth I further said, "And why do you think I should accompany you to a damn club? I am married and I don't belong to places where hook ups are casual except if my friends ask me to."

"But last time you said you had no problem with it since you see me as a close friend. I don't know why you started acting cold these days but I know you are.... fed up with your wife."

Unfortunately I could imagine him saying that while she walked closer to me, bending down to trail her finger on my profile. I was stiff on the chair while she came closer to whisper. "I know Jungkook, you don't like her and neither do I. Why not me? We both know I could be better in bed than that inexperienced ass."

I went numb, welled my eyes but forced them to not fall, resulting in redden eyes. All the hangover went down the hill at once when I processed her words. Right before she was about to lick my earlobe I pushed her away. She stumbled then stared at me bewildered.

"Who are you to judge her!! Who are you to interfere in someone's personal life? Aren't you already ashamed to flirt with a married man?! Get lost or I'll not think twice before kicking you out." I growled before she got out.

When silence took over the only thing I could hear were my sobs, that I tried to mute my pressing the lips together but failed. Bursting into tears my legs went weak and I sat right on the floor not caring where I was. This whole cabin was reminding me what happened few minutes ago and that broke my heart over and over. Thus, I decided to leave as soon as possible.

I stood up after grabbing the car keys. Closed the door behind I walked past the workers who were surprised to see me leaving earlier but it didn't bother me to give it a thought.

Igniting the car I drove to the abandoned hill point. Standing right at the edge I saw sunset in its full glory saying bye to the world. The sky was tinted and birds were chirping, giving their last salute to the Almighty but even in this soothing situation I cried, the pain I had was too much for me to bear. Hence, I allowed every single drop of tear to fall down until my breath hitched. With every passing second darkness took over while I continued to drown in the ocean of my insecurity.

No matter how much people say, not listen to the judgement of third person over your life but it still hurts because we too are unaware of what people think of us. That damn curiosity later becomes toxic for us.

It was pitch black, no human at sight yet peaceful since the breeze was there to console me. The city lights seemed similar to fireflies, people lost in themselves as if they cared for those working inside the big buildings as overtime. Everything felt lonely, not because I was alone but there was no one who would had understood me.

I sighed as soon as I calmed down. Though I was hurt but at least now I was in the right mind. The view was mesmerizing but it had already been eight in the evening, hence going back into the car I started it and drove back to home.

It was of no use of stretching the matter more when everything was cleared through everything I felt till now. I knew I was not good enough for him and one day I had to accept it and leave him but I never knew I had to face it today. Though I had gathered all my strength for this day but why does it hurt so much?

'Initially I never cared for you because we were never in a true relationship... then what was it?' I thought and through the heart my soul answered.

'Almost love.'

[A/N]
Updates are going to be slow for sure, maybe two updates per month, idk... It depends.