Taylor & Me.

I love you.

Tw:mentions of possible miscarriage (there is no miscarriage, just a hint towards it after the jelly belly bit)

Chapter 18.
I love you.

We didn't do much yesterday, just alot of laying around, nervous but excited for todays scan. I get dressed into some flared jeans and a white tshirt, comfy but not to relaxed. I put on a bit of makeup and head to the kitchen. Roger made breakfast. He made tea and  cheese toasties. You both sat down and ate in a comfortable silence before leaving for the doctors appointment. Roger wants to drive so he's in control or something that doesn't make sense to you.

"Jesus Christ, if we drive any slower, the slugs will be there first." You say. He seems like he's going 2 km per hour.
"Just being cautious, love."
"Overly cautious. Now drive."
"I am driving."
"Properly, you'll get pulled over for going to slow."
"Alright, calm down."

You are on edge today anyway, incase the doctors said there was something wrong with the baby.
"Sorry, I'm just worried."
"It's going to be OK, love. We'll have on gorgeous baby if it's anything like it's father."
"You are a cocky bastard, you know."
"I know. Now, stop worrying, it's going to be fine."
"I know it's just all the what ifs."
"I know, I had them this morning, I told them to fuck off, they did."
"I tried that Roger."
"Well, we're almost there now, just stay calm and it will be OK."

The rest of the journey, you don't talk, instead thinking about what will happen. When we arrive at the hospital, you notice that Roger is looking nervous.
"Hey, you just gave me a speech on not being nervous, how are you?"
"Nervous, you know it's just huge, I know we're probably OK, but what if we're not? What if the baby isn't going to be OK?"
"Of course the baby's going to be OK. Look, we can deal with whatever thrown at us, I'm sure of it."
Instead of saying something, he leans over and kisses you, letting out all his worry into it. When he pulls away, your a flustered mess. He gets out of the van and heads to your side and opens the door. When your out, he puts his arm around your waist, holding you close to him as you enter the building. You head to the waiting room, about five minutes till your appointment, when a nurse comes and tells you that your appointment was pushed back half half hour suddenly as the doctor called in sick so the on call doctor will see you then. Instead of leaving and getting something to eat, you and roger decide to Sit and wait, both nervous wrecks, but excited at the same time. Roger is leaning his head on your shoulder. You sit in silence, a comfortable silence that neither of you want to break.

Half an hour later the same nurse comes out and calls you. Roger takes your hand and you both follow to the ultrasound room. When you're both inside, the nurse tells you to sit up on the bed and pull up your top above your belly. Roger sits down next to you, holding your hand.

"So, we'll start in five minutes, first the doctor would like to talk to you, and then I'll be back."
"OK, thank you." You say.
"Don't thank me, its my job."
She is a nice woman, very bubbly.

The doctor comes in and checks your history.
"So you had a concussion about 2 months ago?"
"Yes, I did."
"Did anything happen after that?"
"Well, about 2 days after, I fainted, but I hadn't eaten much that day so I put it down to that."
"Any dizziness before or after that incident."
"Just before, nothings happened since."
"Any morning sickness?"
"Plenty, it's killer."
"That should clear up at the end of the first trimester, if it doesn't, come back here."
"Will do."
"Are you two married?" You and Roger burst out laughing.
"No, just best friends who slept together drunk." Roger says, trying to stay serious.
"Oh, well, good luck with parenthood. I'll send the nurse in to get started."
"Thanks, have a good day."
"You too, dear."

The nurse comes back in, and puts this weird jelly like stuff on your belly. She turned on the ultrasound machine. You grew more nervous. What if there wasn't a heartbeat?  You look over at Roger, who's head was leaning against his two hands which where clutching your right hand. He looked worried, scared almost, his eyebrows raised up in the middle. You feel the nurse put tye scanner thingy on your belly, and calming all your nerves, the room is filled with the sound of a heartbeat.
"Breathe, love, its ok." Roger said, through tears, you didn't realise he was crying, which set you off crying.
"There, see that, that is your baby. I'll give you two some space."
The nurse stood up, and gave you a Box of tissues, and left.
"I can't see it." You say which makes Roger laugh. He stands up and walks over to the monitor, and points at a little thing that looks like an owl.
"That's our baby, love." He says sitting down beside you again.
"I can't believe it, it seems so real now."
"Doesn't it, it looks like an owl, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, from the side anyway. It's so tiny."
"I know, I can't believe that's what we looked like at one point."
"It's mad isn't it."
All of a sudden, he leans in and kisses you.
"I love you."

He loves me?