The Bosses and I's Differences (book 2)

44

TW: R@PE

Miles

I walked into the bedroom and dropped the bags I was holding in my hands.  Finally back home.  I have been overthinking about this whole baby thing.  I mean, I want to stay with Logan obviously but if he wants to raise this kid and I don't, it's not fair to that kid. 

I took a deep breath and looked at Logan.  He seemed unfazed by this and I think he is leaning towards wanting to raise this kid and that scares me.  I looked at Logan as he was texting someone.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked.  Logan didn't look up at first but soon he did.

"What's up?" Logan asked.  I took a deep breath and looked at him.  He also took a deep breath and sat down on the bed.

"What is your throughts right now about this baby?" I asked.  Logan looked at me and I kept looking at him.

"I have been talking to Cassy and she keeps saying that we have 2 months to think about it because she wants to know if she has to put her baby up for adoption."

"That's her answer?  Is to put it up for adoption?" I asked.  Shocked.  How could someone think about that?

"What do you want her to do?  Find someone who actually wants this baby or have the baby feel like they were the mistake?"

"Won't they still feel like a mistake?  Feeling like neither of their parents wanted them?  And most people in adoption only want it for the money." I explained.  Logan looked at me and nodded his head.

"So what you're saying is that I should do it than...?" Logan asked confused.  I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know.  I don't know what to do and I want to be with you but I also want to be able to live my life." I explained.  Logan looked at me and I took a deep breath.  "I'm just saying.  Cassy made this choice and I'm saying she lives with the consequences."

"It wasn't her choice." Logan mumbled under his breath.  I looked at him and Logan looked at me.  I felt my body wanting to shut down, I can't let it shut down.  "She was raped."

I kept looking at him.  I was frozen but I think Logan is taking it the wrong way.  He got up and started to walk away.  I took a deep breath and looked away. 

I throught about Ethan.  How he took something from me and now Cassy is in an even worst situation.  She is having a kid.  She has to look at this kid and not think of that dude.  I looked on Logan's side of the bed and walked down stairs when Logan was in his office. 

"I can't.  I can't make a decision.  I want to be there, I want to have a kid but Miles is everything to me and I don't think I would be able to do it without him." I heard Logan talking on the phone.  I grabbed my car keys and walked out of the door.  I drove to my apartment and went to Ethan's door. 

I am ready to finally tell him about what he did.  I am ready to move past this because I know somebody has it worst.  I took a deep breath before knocking on his door.  The door opened and everything came rushing back, but I didn't run away.

"Hey...I throught you were in Miami?" Ethan said.  I looked at him confused.

"How did you know that?" I asked. 

"I needed to talk to you so I went to Logan's work place.  Pretty easy man to track down." Ethan said.  I nodded my head and looked into his eyes.  Ethan let me in and I took a deep breath as I walked into his apartment.  We both sat down on the couch.  "So, what's been going on?  I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages..."

"Yeah, for a good reason.  A few weeks ago, you came over to my apartment and I'm guessing you were fucked up."

"I don't even remember that night to be honest.  I didn't...do anything to you.  Right?" Ethan questioned.  I looked at him and that's when he realized.  "What did I do?"

"You raped me and I have been avoiding you because I don't want to mess up your life and I didn't know what to do." I said.  Ethan stare at me with a shocked and guilty look. 

"Did you tell anyone?" Ethan asked.  Just than my phone buzzed.

"No, I didn't even tell Logan and now his ex-wife is pregnant.  She got raped and now I think it's unfair to you that you didn't even know what you did and I also think it's unfair to Logan and I'm just hurting everyone around me and I hate that I can't s-"

"Miles...you have no right to feel like I'm the victim in this.  I have crossed a line that should have never been cross.  You should tell Logan, I should turn myself in."

"But that will ruin your life.  You will be in jail and I will feel bad that you are in there because of me."

"I won't be in there because of you.  Please let me turn myself in." Ethan gave me a puppy eyes and I took a deep breath.  "You are the one that got hurt and as much as I hate Logan, I know he is best for you."

I felt another buzz in my pocket.

"Promise me that you will never blame yourself." I said.  Ethan smiled and held out his pinky.  I smiled and wrapped my pinky around his.

"I promise."