You're Not Alone

Hallelujah

(Jen's POV)

I opened my eyes and yawned softly. The only light in the hospital room was the small lamp on the nightstand next to my bed. Austin sat in a plastic chair next to the bed, a blank pad and pen in hand.

Noticing my stirring, he sat up a little straighter and then leaned forward. "Hey there, sleepy head." He said while rubbing my arm.

I smiled slightly. "Hey."

He moved over to the edge of my bed and took my hand. "How are you feeling?"

With my free hand I reached up and touched my neck. When I examined my fingers, there was still a tiny bit of blood covering them. I smiled a little bigger. "I've been better."

Austin chuckled. "I think we need to find you an orthodontist. Those teeth look like they don't need braces anymore."

I smiled a bit. "What are you writing?"

He grabbed the pen and notepad, shrugging. "I was gonna write a song while you were asleep, but nothing's coming to me."

I shrugged at him. "I'm still tired. You could try to improvise a lullaby. If you like something you sing, write it down. That's how I wrote my song."

"I don't know, Jen. I'm not so good at clean vocals. There's a reason why Aaron does it, not me."

"Just try. I'm your daughter, I won't judge. I may laugh and never let you live it down, but I won't judge you."

He shook his head, smiling. "Alright, but let's keep the laughter to a minimum."

Austin tapped the pen against his fingers and bit the inside of his cheek, lost in thought. He cleared his throat.

I heard there was a secret chord
David played and it pleased the Lord

He paused for a moment, wracking his brain.

But you don't really care for music, do ya?

He wrote everything down, a smile creeping on to his face.

Well, it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall, and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

I listened to him sing, taking in the qualities of his voice; the slight accent, the way he sang softly on the low notes, the power he put into the higher ones. I fell in love with it as he sang "hallelujah" a few more times.

Austin no longer needed to struggle to write the song. He smiled as he continued to sing.

Well your faith was strong
But you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah,
hallelujah...

As the song began getting more risqué, I realized that Austin was no longer writing because I forced him to. He was writing out of pure, genuine passion. And I loved his passion as much as I loved his voice.

Baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

There was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me, do
ya?
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

The song finished and Austin smiled at me. "Not too bad, huh?"

I shook my head. "It was beautiful." Austin reached over and stroked the hair out of my face.

"Jen, you need to talk to Alan." He said, the hollows of his face highlighted by the full glow of the lamp.

"Why?"

"He says that this is all his fault. He said that he's the reason you almost..." Austin's voice began to get shaky. "Almost..." He brought his hand to his mouth, trying to control the emotions.

"It's okay, Dad. I'll talk to him." I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for the song. You should show it to the others."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Austin smiled. "Sure. Why not?" He kissed me on the nose, and I crinkled my face. "I love you, itty bitty."

I fell asleep to him singing the song over and over again, his lips never leaving my head, his voice muffled by my hair.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Sorry for the lack of updates! Over spring break I went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. It was so incredible and life changing, and I can say without a doubt that I will be going back.

Let's just pretend for the sake of the story that Austin wrote and performed this song ;). This is how I imagine his voice to sound.

This was kind of a short, filler chapter. There needed to be some peace amidst all the chaos in these last few chapters.

Chapter/Austin's song: Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.

Love you guys!

-Gracie