Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

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"Sasabay raw si Father Dillion sa 'tin this lunch. I have a hunch na agad na may crush siya sa isa sa atin. Who do you think it is, Carleen?"

My brows shot up with the sudden mention of his name. Hindi talaga siya titigil kalalapit? Ang lapit na nga namin dahil magkatabi kami, pati ba naman sa lunch, sasabay pa siya? I think he's serious about the deal. If ever manalo siya, ano namang ipapagawa no'n sa 'kin? If he had plans on making me pay for his debts or fees, I think I should kill him now.

"Ako na 'yan, sis. 'Wag kang mainggit, ha?" Inirapan lang siya ni Carleen dahil sa naging sagot niya sa sariling tanong. Hindi ko na lang sila masyadong pinansin kasi wala namang katuturan ang pinagsasabi nila. "Ayan na siya, oh." Kahit na hindi ko tingnan ang tinuturo ni Kyla, alam kong si Dillion ang tinutukoy nito.

Binati niya pa ang dalawa saka naupo sa harapan ko, katabi si Kyla na noon ay parang kiti-kiti dahil hindi mapakali sa upuan. Mukha namang wala ring interes si Dillion sa dalawa dahil nakatutok lang siya kinakain niya katulad ko.

Si Kyla lang ang nagdadaldal sa table namin. Carleen is also talking but not as loud as Kyla. They're talking about someone from the Engineering department. I don't know the name but I knew that he was age older than us.

"Age never matter naman 'no!" She flipped her hair.

"Yeah. But distance does." Carleen smirk.

"Paka-epal naman neto. Minsan na nga lang magka-crush e. Matulad ka sana sa babae roon sa BA2. Sino 'yon? 'Yong Ursula. Hindi ka rin sana magka-jowa forever."

Why am I listening to them, anyway?

I looked at Dillion who's still focusing with his food. Hindi niya ba ako aasarin? Nasanay akong palagi siyang nag-iingay kaya naninibago ako sa pinapakita niya. He's just so quiet and I wonder what happened.

Saka ko lang napansin na ang kinis pala ng mukha niya. His brows are brown when you look at them closely. His nose commends the shape of his face. Nando'n ang angas sa jawline niya. And his lips...I don't know if he's using lip products to have those red.

My thoughts were brought back when someone cleared their throat. I didn't realize how long I was staring at Dillion but he seemed unaware of it.

"Ang kati, oo, ang kati ng lalamunan ko." I frowned at Kyla who's now continuously doing weird sounds. "Buti hindi nangangati lalamunan mo, Callan 'no? Pati sa'yo Dillion. Sana all."

"You need water?" I looked at Dillion who's now offering his water to Kyla who wholeheartedly accepted it.

"I guess, she needs holy water." Nabuga ni Kyla ang iniinom niya dahil sa sinabi ko. Nagawa pa nitong tumawa habang hawak-hawak ang ilong. When I looked at Dillion, he's frowning at me. "I'm just kidding."

"Pangit ng biro mo, Callan! Kuhanin ka sana ni Satanas."

I just scoffed and didn't mind them. Our table became normal again. Si Kyla lang naman ang nagpapaingay ng table namin. Lahat na lang makita niya, kailangan may sabihin siya.

Thankfully, nothing happened that lunch aside from Dillion's silence. After that lunch, the three of us decided to spend our remaining time in the school library near the Engineering Department.

"Anong tawag kay Callan kapag nilulutuan na siya?"

I massaged my forehead when she started talking again. Pinili ko na nga ang library para kahit papaano ay magkaroon ng tahimik na environment pero mukhang walang patawad ang bibig ni Kyla.

"Girl, stop na, pisting yawa ka."

"Last na 'to, sabihin niyo ano." Napabuntong hininga si Carleen saka napipilitang magsalita.

"Ano?" Tamad na ani niya. Ako ay nakaharap lang sa laptop ko, binabasa ang mga PDF na sinend sa GC kanina.

"Edi Callan'g de-uling!" She laughed.

"That's it, I'm done with you, Kyla." She frustratedly pulled her hair. Mahina lang akong napatawa nang isubsob niya ang mukha niya sa keyboard. "Kung ako sa'yo, nag-aral ka na lang, 'di ba?"

"Sus! Madali lang 'yan, tingnan mo mamaya, isa ako... sa mga babagsak." Mabuti na lang at nasa bandang likuran kami ng library kaya hindi masyadong dinig ng librarian ang boses ni Kyla.

Mabilis lang din naming tinapos ang lahat ng kailangan namin sa library. Nakumbinsi rin namin si Kyla na manahimik kahit sandali lang. That's an achievement, I guess.

"As far as I can remember, you told me that you won't keep that pen with you because you can afford to buy your own."

My brows furrowed with what Dillion said. Nakapangalumbaba siya habang nakaharap ang mukha sa akin. Even though I didn't glance at him, I could already tell that he was wearing his infamous smirk.

I looked at the pen I was using and I immediately brought it down when I realized that he was right. His pen is still with me. Sayang naman kasi. Marami pa namang tinta. He should learn how to save things. His trash can be someone's treasure.

"You gave it to me so I guess, it's out of your business. Unless, paki-alamero ka talaga," I said in a mocking tone. He chuckled before leaning in his seat. Ngayon, mas lalo ko nang hindi nakikita ang reaction niya.

"But my business is the one who holds my pen now." I mentally rolled my eyes at what he said.

"Flirt."

"Sa'yo lang."

"It's not funny."

"I don't make fun of anything."

"Just stop."

"Why? You're scared to fall because of my words? I can catch you if ever."

"Shut up."

"Or I can make you feel my words through my actions."

I put my earphones. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Talk to the one who gives fuck. He keeps talking but I didn't listen. I let him. Mapapagod din naman siguro ang bibig niyan. He and Kyla, they are both annoying.

Good thing, the teacher arrived before I even throw all my things to Dillion who never missed pissing the inner me. I regret that I didn't protest when he chose the seat next to me.

Yeah, as if I could do anything.

"May bago akong crush. Nasa Psychology class."

The next day is like a usual day. Classes, the voice of Kyla, Dillion who was born to burn my entire patience. We're here at the pathway, of course, with our papers.

"Sino ro'n?" I looked at them para sana makisali sa usapan kaso mukhang hindi ko na naman alam ang topic nila. Why don't we talk about our subjects? Baka mas maka-relate pa ako.

"Si Ae."

"Si Ae? 'Yung lalaking psychology ang kinuha pero ugaling pang-mental? Seryoso ka?"

"Grabe talaga ang tabas ng bibig mo, Carleen. Napaka-judgmental mo masyado. Hindi ka siguro minahal no'ng past life mo." Nag-irapan lang silang dalawa.

I don't know where they get those names and how they know each other. To be honest, this school is quite large and the department buildings are far from each other, except for the Engineering and Business Ad. So, I don't know how they know Ae of Psychology.

They kept on teasing each other while I, on the other side, realized how boring my life was. Akala ko malaya na ako kasi nakuha ko ang course na gusto ko. But I am wrong. Because even though I got my dream course, I still needed to impress them. To satisfy them. It feels like I am chained. Chained from something I can easily escape but don't know how.

"Life is adventure so live with it to the fullest. It's not anyone's fault if you're chained. It's yours. Because you choose to live for someone else's dream."