Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

2 3

"Nakita ko post mo."

Tiningnan ko ang kalalabas lang na Dillion sa kuwarto. Yeah, I'm still here at his unit. He requested more days and I give in. He raised his brow as if thinking of something before letting out a chuckle. Napakunot naman ang noo ko dahil sa pagtawa niya.

"What can you say?" He's grinning while walking towards me. "Isn't that sweet? I flexed you in the social media. My boyfriend." He took the seat beside me before putting his hand on my head.

"Makikita ng family mo?" I asked worriedly. Sandali siyang natigilan saka inalis ang pagkakapatong ng kamay niya sa ulo ko. He pursed his lips before looking away, sighing.

"Hindi..." He looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, I wasn't able to introduce you to them. But I promise, I will once I already proved something." He flashed a smile.

"That's fine. Naiintindihan ko." 

Ako rin naman. I am not yet ready to face the consequences of our actions. Siguro kapag may napatunayan na rin ako sa pamilya ko, saka ko siya ipakikilala. At least, hindi ako mapapahiya. 

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya saka ito pinaglaruan habang nakatingin doon. I can feel how warm it is when he tightened the grip. Tumingin ako sa kaniya saka marahang ngumiti. "Let's be like this for the meantime."

"What do you mean by... this?" Mas lalo pa siyang lumapit kaya napalayo ako. Tumawa na naman siya kaya mas lalo akong sumimangot.

"I mean, we can remain lowkey for... for the meantime --- hey, you punk. Lumayo ka nga." I tried to push him but he just held my hands, pinning it to the backrest of the sofa. Agad dinaga ang dibdib ko nang mapadpad ang paningin niya sa labi ko. Unconsciously, I looked at his lips too.

"Pa'no kung ayoko?" I followed the motion of his wet lips when he talked. Napalunok ako nang mas lalo niya pang ilapit ang sarili niya. Damang-dama ko ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso ko. "Pa'no kung ito ang gusto kong gawin?"

"Ano---"

I was cut off when his lips pressed mine. It was the first time we kissed and it was passionate. His lips are soft and it seems like he's hypnotizing me to kiss him back. Namalayan ko na lang ang sarili ko na tumutugon sa kaniya.

I groaned when he pushed his tongue inside me. I sought support on his shoulder when he let go of my hands. My hold on him tightened when he deepened the kiss. It seemed like he's thirsty and my mouth became his water source. Nakaka-adik. I can't explain the feeling he's making me feel right now. The only thing I know is I liked it.

We were both panting when he finally let go of me. Agad akong nagmulat ng mata at nagtama ang paningin namin. His ash-grey eyes show different emotions. Only his eyes can make my heart flutter and the owner who owns me too.

"I love you," he said while still catching his breath. I only answered him with a smile because I was out of words. He kissed my lips again before sitting properly as if nothing happened. "What do you want for dinner?"

"You decide," I told him. Tumayo na ako dahil hindi pa ako nakakapaglinis ng katawan. "I'll just take a shower first." Hindi pa man siya nakakapagsalita ay tumalikod na ako't umalis. Ilang beses ko pang sinubukang kalmahin ang sarili ko.

Hindi ko na namalayan ang paglipas ng mga araw. I felt sad when I left his unit but he made a promise that we will often see each other again. Video calls na lang ang ginawa namin dahil hindi naman siya pwedeng pumunta sa bahay. Pero minsan, tumatakas ako para lang makipagkita sa kanya. 

Masaya naman.

"It's already late in the evening, what are you still doing here?"

One time, I came to his unit. That was already ten o'clock in the evening. Wearing my gray hoodie with a maroon shirt partnered with faded jeans, I smiled at him. Napailing na lang siya dahil alam niyang wala siyang magagawa.

"I was bored. I have nothing to do and am not yet sleepy," I explained to him as I entered the room.

"What would you do if your family found out that you're not in your room?" He followed me as I made my way to the kitchen. I stopped to look at him.

 Alalang-alala ang mukha niya na akala mo nama'y illegal ang ginawa ko. Tumatawa akong lumapit sa kaniya. I encircled my arms around his neck and gave him a peck. Hindi nawala ang pag-aalala niya kaya naman piniga ko ang tungki ng ilong niya.

"They won't. I told them that I was busy and they shouldn't disturb me or knock me." I flashed a wicked smirk. He just tsk-ed at me before going out, leaving me alone in the kitchen. Mahina na lang akong tumawa at nagsalin ng tubig.

Nang lumabas ako sa kusina, naabutan ko siyang nanonood ng TV. I took off my jacket before sitting next to him. Napatingin naman ito sa 'kin saka ako hinila palapit. Hindi ko maintindihan kung anong pinapanood niya at hindi ko na lang piniling intindihin.

"Dito ka matutulog?" I felt that he's caressing my hair. Nagsalubong agad ang mata namin nang tingnan ko siya. My heart throbbed when he smiled at me.

"Yeah." I nod at him, glancing back at television. "Maaga na lang siguro akong uuwi bukas." Sinundan ko pa 'yon ng tawa kahit wala namang nakakatawa. Katulad ng lagi niyang ginagawa, ginulo niya na naman ang buhok saka niya ako sinandal sa balikat niya.

"We can share in my bed?" Hindi ko na kailangan pang tingnan siya para malaman kong nakangisi siya. "You still don't share?" I chuckled.

"It's fine. No harm?" His shoulders vibrated, a sign that he let out a low chuckle.

"I can't promise."

"Then, no sharing." I smirked. Tiningnan niya naman ako nang nakasimangot kaya mas lalo akong natawa.

"Okay, fine. No harm." I even saw him roll his eyes. "Whatever."

We stayed there for more minutes but later on, he told me that he's already sleepy so we went to his room. Hindi na ako nagpalit pa ng bihisan at basta na lang humilata sa kama. Inaantok na rin ako. I just came here to see him.

"Maglalagay ka pa ng unan?" I questioned him when he put pillows on the center. Inosente niya naman akong tiningnan saka 'yon inalis sandali.

"Why? Okay lang kahit walang harang?" Ako na mismo ang kumuha ng unan na ipanghaharang niya dapat. From my peripheral vision, I saw him smile when I threw the pillow on the sofa. "I thought you're not used to having someone beside you when you are sleeping?"

Sandali naman akong napaisip. Tama naman siya, I can't sleep when someone is beside me. I sighed as I stared at him, a smile plastered on my lips as I uttered the words, "Well, I think I should get used to it from now on."

"Hmm, kinikilig ako." I laughed at his reaction. Napailing na lang akong muling humiga, sumunod naman agad siya. "Parang nawala bigla ang antok ko."

"Matulog ka na." Tumalikod ako sa kanya dahil may balak na akong matulog.

"I can't." Umuga ang higaan, tanda na gumalaw siya. "I'm not sleepy yet." Muli akong humarap sa kaniya dahil parang ang bastos namang nakatalikod niya akong kinakausap.

"Close your eyes and shut up," I told him, earning a chuckle.

"Since day one, masungit ka na talaga." He started talking again. "Hindi ko nga alam kung pa'no kita nagustuhan. That's weird." I opened my eyes and his ash-grey orbs welcomed my sight. Hindi ko alam pero nakikita kong nakangiti ang mata niya. We're just staring at each other, feeling our own heartbeats. "But I just found myself..." He moved closer. "Slowly falling at you."

"Corny mo, matulog ka na." Pinikit ko na lang muli ang mata ko habang nakangiti. I heard him sighed before I feel his arms pulling me closer to him. "Ano? Matulog ka na sabi, tsk."

"Sleep. I'll watch you." Pinaglaruan niya ang buhok ko. Hinayaan ko na lang dahil inaantok na ako.

Ilang minuto pa niyang nilaro ang buhok ko bago ko naramdaman ang unti-unting pagluwag ng pagkakakapit niya. He probably fell asleep. Mahina na lang akong natawa. Watch me pala, ha. I just fixed his position, putting him blanket before I kissed his forehead. When I saw the clock, a smile formed in my lips.

"Happy third monthsarry, Nash. To more months and years with you."