Salvation

37 ∆ new home

''It's not the same without him.'' I moaned as I laid my head back, spinning high. ''I know I promised I'd leave it all behind, it's just impossible. This whole situation is just... ridiculous. Ridiculously like me. There are so many pretty boys out there and still I choose to think about and miss this northern idiot. I can't stand it.''

''Anna. Calm down, kiddo. You're higher than Adam, in the corner.'' Ross laughed, taking the joint from out of my fingers.

''Shut up. I know what I'm doing - and what I'm saying. You know what?'' I looked up at the ceiling. ''What I really need is a long-haired, pale and skinny boy who plays a bunch of musical instruments and sings and shit.''

''Not sure if you can get that, but...'' George said, reappering from the kitchen. ''you can always get me.'' He smiled and winked, while I laughed and shook my head.

''No. Thank you, though.'' I smiled. ''But back to the Matthew thing - oh, I hate it all.''

''He's out. He wants to see you.'' Ross said.

''I know.'' I looked out of the window, at the rain soaking the grass outside. ''I don't want to see him. I know he blames me and really, it's all my fault anyways.''

''If you like him, you should talk to him. I think he'll forgive you. What you did was necessary; he could've died.''

''Yeah. I don't think he's capable of seeing that. I wouldn't be. All I'd see is the fact that I was put in jail because of a seventeen year old who kind of ruined my reputation.'' I spoke my messy thoughts, thinking it was time to leave. ''I should go home. I haven't attended school in over a week.''

***

Two days later, I woke up with the doorbell going off. I slid out of bed lazily, muttering swears as I saw the mess my brother left on the living room last night (bottles sprung around, a syringe, his powder and weed over the coffee table and coffee mugs everywhere), and walked over to the front door. I looked through the peephole and it was a woman in a pantsuit; I had never seen her before in my life.

I opened a crack of the door, just enough to look at her face and tell her to go away.

''Anna Calliope?'' The woman asked, ignoring what I said.

''Who's asking?''

''Daisy Miller, social worker. I work in collaboration with Kingsbury High School. Mrs. Brown and the headmasters have requested my supervision over one student specifically.''

No more explanations were needed. I knew exactly what she meant; what the situation meant. I've been there before.

''I was told this isn't your first time being visited by a social worker. May I come in?'' She spoke in an annoying tone.

I sighed deeply, knowing this time I couldn't escape nor be saved. I took a step back and let her inside, already giving up.

***

''I am seventeen. I will not be adopted. I can't be adopted and most of all, I don't want to be adopted.'' I argued with a straight face as I was dragged into an orphanage downtown.

''It was decided that you must stay out of that degrading place and be put into a nicely structured home until you're at least 18.'' Said the woman holding my wrist.

''I am seventeen.'' I repeated. ''I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.''

''No, you have to-''

''Miss, look. I know you have a job to do here. But seriously though, you really think I need to be put into an orphanage? Don't you think I'm able to handle my own shit?''

She sighed and looked at me seeming unpleased. I knew she didn't think I was able to handle myself and honestly I knew arguing wouldn't work. But surprisingly, she did something I'd never think she'd do.

''Anna, I know you can handle your own shit. I know you don't need me or an orphanage but the law is that you can't live by yourself in that place.'' She said as we kept walking towards her car.

''What do you mean by that place?'' I questioned, frowning.

''Face it, your home was a mess and honestly, drugs where strewn about everywhere. Did you think I'd just let that go?'' I sighed, knowing she was right, and nodded as I got into the car. ''You'll stay in the orphanage till your mum has gone to court so the judge decides if you go or stay.''

***

We arrived at the orphanage a couple minutes later.

''Here's your new home. At least for a couple days.'' Daisy said, smiling.

I sighed again. ''Seriously.''

I dragged myself out of the car right behind her and into the dark coloured building. It was huge, old and honestly, pretty. I liked the ambient inside; wooden doors, floors, windows and furniture, some painted in the same colour as the massive front doors: dark green. There weren't kids running around laughing nor crying, which was odd for someone who had been in a few orphanages that were like that.

As Daisy spoke to the old receptionist behind the counter, I took my time to look around. The windows stretched themselves from the ceiling to the floor and light curtains hid the inside from the curious viewers on the busy street outside. To the right of the counter, there were huge stairs in a spiral form.

After a while, I got bored. Daisy was done talking, finally, and I was sent upstairs to my room. I dragged myself through the long corridors with many doors next to each other, until I reached the end of the corridor, where was my room located (also, next to the bathroom).

I entered the room and found it quite simple. A single bed next to the window, white curtains, a small desk with a chair and a closet with drawers. I left my two rucksacks filled with my belongings on the bed and ran down the stairs again, ready to leave for a few hours and get it all straight inside my head.

---

oh god its been five decades. how are you?

forget everything i've ever said about the future of the story. this will be completely new. i'll work on it like i did with weight of living: freely. i'll do whatever. what i think of, whatever i want really, will be put in this story so i think it'll be great and easier to write. [i've lost practice. im not sure if i can still write in english ahaha] x