Salvation

3 ∆ the bleeding kid Ross knocked down

        ''Planning on getting wasted tonight are we?''

Ross' grin was stretching from one ear to another, giving the impression there was something on my face. I checked on the reflecting metal behind him; there wasn't. 

''I, uh, what?'' I nearly whispered, a bit confused. His smiling eyes looked from my face down to the basket filled with alcohol that I carried, and I understood. ''Oh, that! They're not m-mine. They're not f-for me. It's all- all for my brother.'' I stammered like an idiot; he laughed.

''Calm down, it's not like I'm a cop or anything.'' He said, making me slightly less tense. ''But aren't you a bit, like, young to be getting these?''

''The cashier is old enough to not notice my face. I think she's nearly blind,'' We chuckled. ''which means this shop isn't exactly fancy. What are you lot doing here?'' I quietly asked, trying not to smile too much.

''Yes, I don't understand,'' Matthew, who had massive black sunglasses resting on the tip of his nose, even though it was already dark outside, spoke up. ''what are we, a relatively successful band, doing in this suburb liquor store?'' He looked around, seeming indignant, until he stopped, looking at me again. ''Who are you, by the way?''

''The bleeding kid Ross knocked down.'' George smiled and I wondered if that had become my title after I left them.

        'Oh look, there goes the bleeding kid Ross knocked down. The bleeding kid Ross knocked down was ugly. TBKRKD was weird. Glad she's gone.'

Snapping me out of my thoughts there was Ross smiling and asking me something I never thought I'd hear -- at least not from him.

''So, are you free tonight?''

***

Turns out, yes, I was free. I had plenty of free time that night -- and in any other night, or day, of my fucking life. I had all the time in the world, free.

But I was stupid enough to say 'no'.

I literally said ''no, I'm sorry, I have to- I need to go. Sorry. Bye? Bye.'' And then sped off to the cashier, to whom I gave a fifty quid note, and then sped off back home without the change.

I was currently trotting up the street, humming another song, trying to forget what had just happened and why I had said 'no' and the opportunity I had just let go.

        ''When you walked into the room again is like the sun came out''

I found myself once again hating my choices and face and body and everything else around me. So instead of obeying my brother, for the first time in my life, not doing what I was told, I stopped dead in the tracks, looked around and walked towards the park.

Once I reached my destination I let the frustration tears roll down my cheeks as I slumped down in the bench in front of the pond, and grabbed the bottle of wine out of it. I stared at it for a while, wondering if I should.

''Yes, I should. It's a fucking Friday and all of the teenagers my age are out there, probably partying and drinking, getting laid, maybe doing drugs, just... doing something fun. And here I am again, feeling sorry for myself. And wonder how many had the opportunity of hanging out with their favourite band? One. That was me. And I let it go.'' I thought, bitterly, still staring at the dark bottle filled with an even darker content. ''Oh, hell yes, I will.''