Salvation

15 ∆ don't you mind?

[a/n this may be a bit disgusting... i'm sorry but i didn't want to either sugar coat or skip it, so here you go, HOW TO TAKE CARE OF DRUNK MATTY]

        After fourty minutes of stumbling across the streets, carrying Matthew while he complained about something and kept on trying to hug me, which lead to us falling down on the pavement many times, and rain making us soaking wet, we had arrived at my flat. Dripping wet and with injuries, but we did.

I kicked off my shoes and threw my backpack on the corner of the kitchen area, finally being able to breathe without inspiring water (which was comforting; I was actually scared of drowning in the street). But, oh, I still had a mission: take care of Matthew. Get him out of his wet clothes, shower him so he sobers up a bit, give him some painkillers that'll certainly help when he wakes up, and lay him down somewhere.

After taking off his shoes and leather jacket, I dragged him into my bedroom and then to the bathroom, laying him down on the tub. He managed to be sick in the space time of three seconds I took to stand up and turn on the tap. 

''Oh, fuck sake.'' I grumbled as he turned his head away and out of the tub and continued to throw up, this time on the floor. 

I sighed and ran to the kitchen to grab a squeegee, cleaning products and some cloths. I returned to the bathroom and found Matthew struggling to get his clothes off, while the water cleaned away the vomit inside the tub. I managed to help him get out of his shirt and jeans, task that I wasn't exactly thrilled to do. 

Once I realized that showering him wouldn't do, I decided to fill the tub. While the hot water embraced Matthew's skinny body as its volume increased in the space he claimed himself to be confined inside, I cleaned the vomit off the tiles.

For a while he just laid there, splashing water everywhere, playing with his own hair and my shampoo, yelling disjointed things and even crying. It was weird to see him in that state, making a scene. Sitting there carelessly on the cold hard ground, wet and cold, leaning my head on the side of the tub, dipping my hand in slowly in the water next to Matthew's head, I saw it. Maybe it changed things for us, for me -- the way I'd seen him there and then, it was different; the way he needed my help otherwise he could've died. Oh god, I hated thinking about that possibility. But maybe it didn't change anything, and him being drunk meant nothing more than that.

After a little while, Matthew calmed down. He just kept on talking and crying, and I still wasn't understanding anything.

And then I realized he was singing.

''I've got a plane in the middle of the night, don't you mind?

And I nearly killed somebody, don't you mind, don't you mind?

I give you something you can never give back, don't you mind?

You see my face like a heart attack, don't you mind, don't you mind?''

Once I read that that was his favourite song.  

''I was late, but I arrived

I'm sorry but I'd rather be getting high than watching my family die

Exaggerate, and you and I

Oh, I think I did something terrible to your body, don't you mind?

And I put your mother through hell, don't you mind?

I hurt your brother as well. Don't you mind?

Oh I was thinking 'bout killing myself, don't you mind?''

Maybe I should stop being egocentric and selfish, and start thinking about others a little bit, because this wasn't all about me.

Why was Matthew drinking at this hour?

Why was he this drunk?

Why was he crying?

''I love you. Don't you mind, don't you mind?''

 

Why was he...

''Anna?''

Matt's P.O.V.

Me.

''She doesn't know. She's the new one. She likes you and she's quiet. She hates everything, she won't care. Now. Now Matty, now or never. Do it, she will be fine. They won't but she will. Everything will be just fine if you do it now...''

And I did it. It was great. It was instant relief. I don't think the girl even noticed. 

It was all great. But...

heavy conscience.

''You owe them that. Just... tell her.''

''Anna?''

She seemed in her own world. Quiet, staring into the distance. When I called her, she seemed to snap out of it, and quickly turned to look at me.

''Yes?''

''I'm so sorry.'' I said. 

''What?'' She mumbled.

I could feel her staring at my face intently as I rubbed my eyes. 

''I'm so sorry, Anna, tell them I'm sorry.'' I muttered, laying my head back and waiting for the darkness to take me.

Anna's P.O.V.

My head snapped back up and my eyes met his gaze.

''Yes?''

''I'm so sorry.''

''What?'' I mumbled, scanning his face as he rubbed his eyes. 

''I'm so sorry, Anna, tell them I'm sorry.''

I searched for answers but he wouldn't give one. Until I noticed the red and the razor.

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a/n hey! let me know what you think of the story, of this chapter, tell me what you think i could change and/or improve. that really helps! 

thanks for reading! clara x