COMPLETED - 100 Ways To Say I Love You - Malec

100 - I Love You (Part 6)

From Part 5:

Magnus was gasping when he woke in the middle of the night. Thankfully, Alec seemed rather tired and was still sleeping. He didn't want Alec to see him like this: after a depletion that left him with no control over his memories, which sometimes just hit him, and other times came back as nightmares.

He wouldn't let this ruin their holiday. He couldn't. He would try better in the morning. For now, he lied back down, looked at Alec in his arms, and stroked his fingers through Alec's dark curls.

"Night, gorgeous," he mumbled, and sleep dragged him under, but his whole night was memories of the past, shadows of what he'd done and just vivid nightmares.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part 6 – Masked Emotions

When Alec woke up, Magnus was already up and Alec found that concerning, especially because he knew Magnus hadn't slept well that night and had been tossing and turning.

Alec was even more concerned because of the fact Magnus was jovial, like normal, but it seemed forced, as if he was trying to seem happy to avoid showing how he really felt.

"Good morning, gorgeous," Magnus said as soon as he noticed Alec.

"Hey," Alec mumbled back sleepily, not being able to help the smile that spread across his face, "You okay?"

"Of course," Magnus replied too quickly, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You didn't sleep well last night. I was too tired to properly wake up, sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Alexander. It was just a few nightmares. I'm okay," Magnus promised.

"If you're sure," Alec mumbled, still uncertain.

"I am. Now, then, shopping?" Magnus changed the subject, and Alec noticed how his eyes lit up falsely. Something was going on, but Magnus didn't want to tell him. Alec was hurt by that for a minute, but everyone had their secrets. So he didn't push further.

He plastered on a smile and clambered out of bed and was about to reach the bathroom when Magnus' hands closed around his wrist and Alec was pulled flush against Magnus.

"Good morning kiss," Magnus reminded Alec, and proceeded to kiss him.

Alec loved kissing Magnus, but at that moment, it wasn't as if Magnus was solely kissing for the pleasure and passion of it, but it was as if he was trying to distract himself, and also distract Alec from thinking something was wrong.

He pushed his hand into Alec's hair and tugged harder than he had ever done before. It didn't hurt, but Magnus seemed so determined to kiss brutally until nothing remained.

Alec pulled away. "I um need the bathroom," he lied, and exited Magnus' embrace.

He just took a moment: was this Magnus trying to hide something and seem normal, or was this... Could this be Magnus trying to urge Alec on to take the next step?

Alec couldn't imagine Magnus being that swallowed up in kissing Alec that he would not take the time to talk about it, though. Magnus was always careful with Alec, so it seemed unlikely that Magnus would want to take the next step unless Alec reassured him a thousand times over.

And Alec would do that because he did feel certain. But if Magnus was worried... He didn't want that to affect their first time. So, he decided that he wouldn't tell Magnus exactly what he felt until Magnus was truly happy again and not lying about it.

He took a breath and came out of the bathroom, finding Magnus fidgeting.

"S – sorry," Magnus mumbled.