COMPLETED - 100 Ways To Say I Love You - Malec

47 - Did You Get My Letter

A/N Set kinda early in their relationship.

Magnus smiled to himself when the loft door opened and Alec came in, struggling, but managing to shrug out of his gear and take off his bow and unload his weapons. Magnus closed his eyes, knowing Alec would be there any minute to give him a small 'hello' kiss. But that kiss never came.

Magnus opened his eyes and found Alec was fishing his laptop out of his bag and was sinking into a chair by the dining table, sighing and starting to type away on his laptop. Magnus, worried, got up and went over to Alec and stood behind the Shadowhunter, bending his head to kiss Alec's hair and ruffle it. Alec seemed oblivious to it.

"Alexander?" Magnus spoke softly.

"Hi," Alec's voice was dry, with no emotion in it.

"Are you okay, my darling?"

"Yeah."

"You are definitely not okay," Magnus stated and pulled up a chair beside Alec. Magnus tried to tilt Alec's face towards him, but Alec nudged away, looking back at his laptop. Magnus had realised that Alec was acting weird the past few days; maybe it was the stress catching up to him.

"I'm fine, Magnus," Alec said, uncharcteristically sharp.

"You didn't even kiss me 'hello'," Magnus said sadly.

"You're not three," Alec bit back before looking down at his laptop again.

"Alexander, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing!" Alec yelled, backing away from Magnus, "I've just got a lot of work and it's not helping with you hovering here like I'm going to kill myself!"

Magnus just stared. Alec never yelled and if they had something to talk about, they'd do it over dinner and cuddle up to end the evening. Alec must be doing real bad.

"Alexander," Magnus said calmly, "If you want to talk, you know I'm here. And if you want space, I'll give you that. But you could at least aknowledge me and be a little politer."

"Magnus," Alec said, looking at Magnus for the first time that evening, "I can't right now. The Clave is looking for any reason to get me fired from Head of Institute because of erm who I am in a relationship with, Jace has badly injured himself because he was drunk and fighting a demon,  and no one ever helps. I need to get this report done right now, so just leave me alone, Magnus."

"Alec-"

"All your life is partying and getting with whoever you want. You won't understand, Magnus."

Magnus stood up, disbelief openly written on his face.

"Alec, take that back. You know that's not true."

"Okay, maybe it's not. But could you please leave me alone. I can't. I just can't anymore," Alec shook his head and Magnus saw that it wasn't really Alec saying all this. He knew that all Alec needed was probably to curl up in a ball and cry with Magnus holding him. But Alec wouldn't willingly do that.

"As you wish," Magnus said after a moment. Alec looked up and both of them locked gazes for one second before Magnus turned and stormed out of the loft. Alec looked at where his boyfriend had been a minute ago and sighed as his head throbbed in agony. What had he done? But he could not focus on that. He turned to his laptop and angrily started typing away yet again.

At least an hour passed before Alec's body started to hurt. And his heart hurt even more. All Magnus wanted was to help, but Alec could not accept it, not after years of being refused that one thing: care. And he did need to talk to Magnus about it, but he could never do it face-to-face without crumbling. Alec put his head down onto his hands.

Magnus resorted to the only place he went when he was sad: the pub. And Magnus was about to order his first drink, after a period of dancing, when a fire-message revealed itself to Magnus. Magnus' heart jumped. It was from Alec.

Magnus,

I don't even know where to start. I hurt you so bad, and I promise that I did not mean anything I said. You were just looking after me, but I guess after years of not having any affection and after years of keeping everything to myself, I'm just awful at accepting help. And I hadn't had much sleep or food in the past week and all the stress... it caught me up. I'm so sorry, Magnus. And please don't stay out too late. I know I hurt you and you're just taking a break from me, but please come home soon. I'll sleep on the couch, so you have the bed, and if you don't want me at the loft, I'll go. But please just come home safely, Magnus. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to talk about this in person with you. I'm sorry, Magnus.

Forever yours, if you'll forgive me, Alexander.

Magnus didn't need a moment to think. The late-night moon showed his path as Magnus raced to the loft, seeing it was a two minute walk. When he got inside, like Alec's letter said, the Shadowhunter was on the couch and when Magnus knelt down, he could see the tear-marks running down Alec's cheek.

Magnus ran his hand through Alec's hair and smiled softly when Alec's eyes fluttered open. Magnus moved his hand to cup Alec's cheek.

"Magnus," Alec started frantically, "Did - Did you get my letter?"

"I did, Alexander," Magnus answered, "And you're forgiven."

"Magnus, I just - It all became too much - and -"

"I know, Alec. Don't worry. Come on, let's go to bed. You need the rest."

"No, I - Magnus -"

"Come here, darling," Magnus whispered and somehow managed to pull Alec into an embrace, with him kneeling on the floor and Alec half-sitting up. Magnus kissed the parts of Alec's face that he could reach.

"Don't worry, Alec. Just promise to talk to me next time. I know it can be hard, but I'm here to catch you when you fall, yeah?"

Alec nodded as Magnus held him even tighter, Alec clinging to Magnus for dear life.

"Bed, sweetheart?" Magnus asked after a while. And Alec searched for the courage to say the simple words that he needed to say.

"Magnus?" Alec asked meekly.

"Yes, my darling?"

"Can you hold me for a little while longer?" 

"Alexander. My Alexander. Of course I can."

As clouds drifted over the moon and as the Brooklyn traffic carried on, Magnus and Alec held on to each other with a love that burned brighter than a star.

A/N I hope you guys enjoyed! It's so hard to write without accidentally putting an 'I love you' in there but yeah! Comment, vote and share, please!

Love, IC XXXX 😍😘🥰