COMPLETED - 100 Ways To Say I Love You - Malec

10 - I'm Sorry For Your Loss

Magnus hung up on Catarina's call after a sad 'thanks for telling me'. And then he went into the bedroom where Alec was curled around a pillow in bed. The Shadowhunter straightened up when he saw Magnus' tight, pinched face.

"Magnus, what's wrong?" Alec asked, concerned and he sat up. Magnus walked over and sat beside Alec on the bed.

"My - my past lover died. She died of old age in a care-home that Catarina occasionally visits," Magnus said slowly and Alec gave a gasp and immediately intertwined his fingers with Magnus and pulled the warlock towards him. 

"Oh Magnus... I'm sorry for your loss," Alec whispered and Magnus laid down, his head on Alec's chest. Alec knew that Magnus was sensitive about how he treated his mortal lovers and Alec had learnt to accept the fact that Alec was not the only relationship Magnus had ever had or will ever have. He had learnt so much that he could comfort Magnus about any of his past lovers without getting the slightest annoyed; he had learnt to help Magnus through it.

They lied down quietly for awhile, Magnus taking up the comforting presence that was Alec. "Alexander?" Magnus called softly.

"Right here," Alec assured and threaded his fingers through Magnus' hair.

"It's so hard," Magnus started, "Knowing that everyone will leave you. When you love a mortal, there are so many things that you have to accept. Like the fact that I will definitely lose them. At one point, it gets simply too much. I can never grow old with anyone. I can never have grandchildren. I can never get wrinkly skin. And things like that, every mortal thinks of them as a curse. But do you know how much of a blessing it'd be if I had wrinkly skin?"

"Magnus, I know that I am not immortal, but I can imagine what you would have to go through. I know that loving any mortal is a risk and that when you fall too deep and too hard, it'll be a massive push to get back up again. But you are strong, Magnus. And you have the ability to love so much, to fall so hard and yet get back up again, Magnus. And I am truly sorry for your loss. I know how much a mortal dying affects you, and if anything, the best thing I can do is being here for you, that's the only thing I can provide you, Magnus," Alec finished quietly, he himself holding back tears.

"Can you just stay here with me? Forever?" Magnus whispered.

Alec knew that this was not a time when he could lie to make Magnus feel better. So instead, he said the truth, "Magnus, I want to. I want to so badly. But more than anyone, you understand why I can't. It's not because I don't love you-"

"It's because you won't be alive on the inside after watching everyone you love die," Magnus finished and then added, voice full of tears, "You'll leave me one day, won't you?"

Alec's breath caught in his throat and he swallowed the lump there. "I - I have to," Alec finally said.

"I understand, Alexander. And I'd never ask you to turn immortal. I hope you know that. Being immortal is something that no one has to go through and you are definitely no exception."

"I do know that, Magnus."

"And thank you for being here with me. It's just that when a mortal lover dies, I always feel guilty. I always feel like I should've made their short life more enjoyable. More worthwhile," Magnus said quietly.

"Magnus, never say 'thank you' for anything like this. And if you are thinking about whether or not you've made my world better, don't. Because I can confirm that my world is truly amazing thanks to you. And besides, you are my entire world," Alec murmured, brushing his lips against Magnus' head, always knowing Magnus' thoughts.

"Immortality is a curse disguised as a blessing," Magnus stated and then he slipped fully into Alec's arms.

"I am sorry you have to go through everything you do. And I'm sorry about your lover. But the one thing I can promise is that if you need someone to listen, someone to lean on, someone to talk to, someone to hold on to, I'll be here, I'll be here as long as I can," Alec reassured Magnus and Magnus, for the first time in his life, could say that promises had the potential to be honest, worthy and loving if they were said by the right person. In Magnus' case, that person was Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

A/N First sad one of this book, and I nearly cried whilst writing this, but I really thought that Malec discussing immortality is crucial in their relationship. What do you say? Comment and let me know! And also today should hopefully have a double-update, so keep your eyes out! Vote and share as well!

Love you all, IC XXXXX❤️🥺