AN OUTER BANKS FANFIC**
Briana Rutledge always lived a small, simple life. She lived alone with her mother and no knowledge of any other family. That is, until her mom told her of a brother she'd never heard of. Brie runs away to find her brother, b...
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I listen to the sound of the waves smacking together outside my window. Running my hands through JJ's hair, I smile to myself. Today is a peaceful day. Everyone is out. Kie and Pope are working. John B and Sarah are visiting some museum. It's just me and him for the day.
I rest my head back on my pillow, watching the weeds outside wave ever so slightly. JJ makes a sudden movement, startling me a bit. I lift my head to see his twinkling blue eyes gazing up at me. "Hi," I whisper, my voice breaking.
"Hey, princess," he smiles. "You're comfortable, you know that?"
"I didn't, but thanks for letting me know," I chuckle. I sigh, setting my head back down on my pillow. After a few moments, the boy sits up quickly. I look up and frown. I wouldn't say so, but I was comfortable with him laying on my stomach. "Why'd you get up," I ask.
"You know what I've been thinking about," he says, ignoring me.
"What have you been thinking about," I ask, resting my head, smiling.
"You haven't talked about it," he answers softly. I immediately know what he's talking about. I'm at a loss for words on that subject, so I just stare out the window. "Brie, you can talk to me."
"I know I can talk to you, J," I whisper. "But I don't know what to say." I tear up just thinking about it. JJ rests a hand on mine, but I pull away. I take a deep, shaky breath. What do I say to him? What could I possibly say to make this go away and continue my perfect day?
"I don't know what you're going through right now, but I will always be here for you," he continues. "It will always be me and you, princess."
I sit up, shaking. I try to calm my breathing, but nothing is working. The tears begin to fall, leaving dewdrops on my cheeks. There's so much going on in my head right now. "Brie, talk to me," JJ whispers. "I'm here."
"But you weren't there," I shout, breaking down. "No one was there. You want me to talk? Fine, I'll talk. I'll tell you all about the depression. The thoughts in my head. The constant sadness, and the lack of feeling. The feeling that I'm not even in my own body anymore.
'The feeling that I'm being crushed by a huge weight. I'll tell you about the nightmares. The images of him taking every bit of energy out of me until there's nothing left. I'll tell you about the worry that Rafe or somebody else will do the same thing. I'll tell you about the fear of being close to any man. It's honestly a wonder I let you lay on my stomach or fist bump Pope or even hug my brother now. I'll tell you about how I cry in the shower because I'm too scared to even touch my own body. I'll tell you all about how Topper took my virginity!"
JJ looks at me in tears. I could tell his heart was breaking. "He did what," he cries. I stay silent, allowing my sobs to do the talking. "He was your first.." He trails off. I nod slowly, gasping, hoping the oxygen would return to my lungs. My lip quivers. Why did I say all that I did? He didn't need to know these things. "I'm sorry, I-,"
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Brie," JJ says, pulling me into his arms. He holds me firmly. "I will love you no matter what. It's you and me, princess."
I smile lightly, holding my tears back. "You and me."
