I don't want to lose you

25

I am awoken by the beautiful smell of my mother's cooking. I make my way downstairs to see everyone already awake.

Y/n-sorry guys, how long are u all awake?

C-about 40 mins

Y/n-omg I can't believe I didn't hear you all sorry

A/L-no problem I'm guessing you had a late night

He looks over and gives me a wink

C/s-Arthur she was the first one to go to bed, maybe she was just tired, I mean she has been really busy lately.

Y/n-exactly

A/L- sure

We all sit and eat our breakfast together. After we are finished cleaning up we all decide to go and get dressed for the day. Just as I walk up the stairs Arthur calls me back.

Y/n-yes?

A/L-I know you snuck out last night, don't worry your secret is safe with me...can I ask why??

Y/n-I couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a walk.

A/L-on your own...at that hour that can't be safe, you should have woken me!!!

Y/n-Okay sorry Arthur

A/L-it's fine just be carful next time.

We all get changed and leave for the day we decided to go karting then for lunch and do a bit of sight seeing.

—————-Lando POV————
I walk downstairs and into the kitchen where Alex is making some breakfast. He has a cheeky grin on his face.

L-what has you so happy this hour

A-lando I heard u sneak out last night, what were you doing...meeting a girl?

He winks and pushes me in the shoulder.

L-nope I just couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a walk

A-I don't believe you went on your own but I'm not gonna push it, just know if you got a girlfriend I'm happy for you.

L-thanks Alex but nope I don't got one unfortunately.

A-your time will come brother, now come on let's eat.

———————————-

———-y/n POV————-
The weekend is over so sadly my family have to head back home. It's not all bad though because I will see them all again next weekend although it won't be the same as we will all be busy with racing. I drive everyone to the airport and say our goodbyes then I head back to my car and hop in. I spend the rest of the day at home chilling out, doing some meal prep for the week and training. When it's all done I sit down with a cup of tea and try to relax before work tomorrow but I can't. It all begins to hit me...I'm going to be an f1 driver, the first girl in a clearly male dominated sport. So many people get hate, what happens if I do, how will I cope with being super well known. I need to do well to pave the way for other girls who want to be in f1 I need to succeed to show that it is possible. All these thoughts run through my head before I know it my heart is racing and I'm struggling to catch my breath. It's been years since this has happened. I try to calm myself down but nothing is working. The only thing I can think to do is call Lando. I pick up the phone with my shaking hand and type in his name.

L-hi y/n how are you

Y/n- L-lando

I can't even talk Im panicking so much.

L-y/n what's wrong !!

I drop the phone I can't say a word I can't breath properly.

L-okay I'm on my way!!!

I try to catch my breath I try to breath slowly but I just can't I can't stop thinking about it all. Then the door opens. Lando runs in and over to me. He kneels in front of me and puts his hands each side of my head.

L-okay y/n it's okay I'm here now your having a panic attack okay so breath with me try match my breathing.

Being with him made things easier but I still couldn't settle my breathing. The tears were rolling down my face I could taste the salty tears on my lips. After about fifteen minutes I get my breathing under control.

Y/n-thank you lando I'm sorry

L-shhh don't be sorry I'm glad you called me

He walks to the kitchen and fills me a glass of water and hands it to me.

L-want to talk about what made you so nervous

Y/n- everything...this year is going to be so much harder than I was expecting. I'm the first girl, I have to pave the way for younger girls and show them it's posssible. I've never been well known I wanted to be but thinking about it is starting to make me realise I don't know if I can handle it. It's so much pressure it's going to be so much more than just racing. What happens if the fans hate me. What if I'm rubbish this year. Lando I don't think I can do it.

He pulls me in tighter and rests his head on mine.

L-listen y/n your going to be amazing and I'm not just saying it your times on the sim and I know it's not the same as being in the car but they are amazing, your fitness is amazing. If you worry to much you won't perform and the fans will LOVE you as you said your the first girl. People will love that they will love you. Don't put yourself under so much pressure, I know it's hard especially in the rookie season and you mental health dose suffer but you can get help, don't be ashamed most drivers need it. It's a massive step up from f2 and to preform at your best you need to be in the best state of mind. You need to talk to someone and there are therapists at mcclaren I've used their help it really really helps you feel better and focus more on racing and improve your performance.

Y/n-ye I suppose I could try it

L-have you had panic attacks already?

Y/n-yes when the f2 championship got really close and I was under allot of pressure but my mind just wasn't there I think that's what caused my performance to drop and lose the championship I should have gotten help but I was to ashamed I kept it all to myself and I guess it didn't do much good.

L-keeping things to yourself never dose

We watch telly for a little bit and I begin to feel allot better.

L-you feeling okay now, will you be okay if I go home or do u want me to stay?

Y/n-I'm fine now you can go but lando thank you so much.

L-no problem glad I could help, see you tomorrow

Y/n-see you tomorrow

I get up from the couch and walk upstairs and decide to get an early night to be fresh for work tomorrow. I needed to get early nights all to is week to make sure am on top form for this weekend.

A/N-sorry for the short chapter I was really busy today but still wanted to post something💜