I don't want to lose you

39

My alarm goes off...great 5:30 am. I hated getting up this early but it's better than people finding out. I pack away my stuff and hide it all under my couch. I hear footsteps coming down the hall. I stand up and hide behind he door. The footsteps come closer then stop, after a few seconds the fade away back down the hall. I get changed and put on my McLaren cloths.

I head to the McLaren hospitality to get some breakfast. I sit in the corner of the room and eat my breakfast. I sit back and hold the coffee in my hands and just stare out the window. The paddock is getting busier by the minute. Then something catches my eye.

Lando. He is walking out of his changing room. He is crying. What happened. I get up out of my seat to walk to him and see was he okay but when I stood up I remembered, it wasn't my place to care about him anymore.

I get changed and make my way into the garage and prepare for fp3. I look over to lando he still seems off, like really off, he must be sick or something. I grab my helmet and put it on. As I lift the visor I see landos face.

L-just wanted to say good luck.

Y/n-thanks lando, you too

I get into the car and head out. Practice goes well. Our qualifying pace looks strong. The same can't be said for lando. He is struggling again and only managed p12. I think about asking him is everything okay by I chose not to. I need space. We head into the debrief room and run through things. Then we all go for lunch. I sit with Charlotte who goes over a few things for the interviews pre qualifying.

I make my way to the press conference. I'm paired with Pierre. We are asked a few simple racing questions nothing serious until one comes up about lando.

R-so y/n you and lando haven't been seen with eachother as much, in fact not at all. Is the relationship on the rocks?

Y/n-this has nothing to do with f1 can we move on please

R-so there is something wrong?

I can't deal with it so I get up and storm out. The whole room goes silent. I walk out and wait in the hallway where the other drivers are watching and waiting for their turn. I walk up and stand beside Charles. All the drivers were watching each others interviews so he knew what happend. He put his arm around me and I stayed with him and watched the next few interviews.

Next was lando and Max. It started off normal just about racing.

R-so lando you have been down towards the bottom of the timing sheets so far this weekend, is there any particular reason for this?

L-my head just isn't with me this weekend

R-is this anything to do with your relationship with y/n?

Charles looks down at me and pulls me a little tighter as he can see I'm getting upset. Lando looks to the wings where the rest of us were standing. He sees me and his eyes tear up. I look at Charles.

Y/n-oh no

I look back at lando waiting for him to say something.

Before he opens his mouth tears start to fall gently down his cheek. It stared with just a few then more and more came.

L-yes it is, I've ruined everything, I made one stupid mistake and I've ruined it all. I love her I really really love her and I've been upset about it all weekend and I can't focus on racing. It's all my fault.

R-what did you do?

Lando looks at me then turns back.

L-I-

I run onto the stage. I can't let him say it. It will ruin his reputation. Yes he hurt me but I can't let him ruin his reputation. I grab his hand and whisper in his ear.