smile ; ch

five

calum

"why do i have to go to the airport?" i groan at feldy, he sits across from me in this black range rover.
"publicity! calum, god, please lighten up."
"lighten up? you're throwing me into the lions den right now."
"have you thought maybe it actually wouldn't be that bad?"
i give him an annoyed look, and he puts his phone into his pocket.
"now, i've given evie the instructions too, but when she gets off the plane you'll need to hug like you've really missed each other. can you do that?"
"i guess."
"there's gonna be heaps of paps so i've got security taking you in, but i mean it, cal, sell it."
"it's my first time seeing her in over a year and you expect me to just act like i love her again?"
"i don't think you ever stopped loving her."

/

my heart races and my hands shake as i wait for evie at the gate. paparazzi takes photos of me, and i can already see the headlines, calum hood nervous at the airport! who's he waiting for?

i take a deep breath and i want a drink right now, or something, anything to take away this anxiety.
"breathe." i whisper to myself, people start to roll out of the gate, and i don't see her yet. i nervously tap my fingers against my stomach, what if she hates what i'm wearing? what if she doesn't see me?
i don't think i can do this.
the only way i'm not gonna fall in love with her again is by acting like a dick, it's the only way, arms length distance always.

a bunch of strangers continue to pile out of the gate, and i keep searching for her face.
when i find her, i feel my heart stop completely. my body breaks out into a sweat, i feel the adrenaline run through my body and i feel like i'm 18 or 19 again when i took her to the farmhouse outside of town and told her i loved her for the first time.
i gulp, and i see a bunch of camera flash as i start to walk towards her, she hasn't seen me yet.

her outfit was so pretty, it complimented her skin and her hair so nicely, she looked tired but she still looked like the same evie i fell in love with all those years ago. same green eyes, big pink lips.

when she sees me, she stops in her tracks and people start to walk around her.
as if we'd spoken telekinetically, we remember johns instructions.
act happy, be excited to see each other, love each other!

she starts to jog towards me, and it's not like how it is in the movies, it's awkward and uncomfortable and we're both not happy to be here.

more flashes go off, so i put on a big smile even though i'm upset. as she gets closer, i can smell the perfume i bought her two years ago, and my bones almost melt to the floor.
i hold my arms out, and her smile drops for a moment, and i know she doesn't want to hug me.
we don't speak, but as she comes into my arms i pick her up off the floor in a tight hug. she smells like heaven, she feels like heaven, she feels stronger somehow. like she'd been going to the gym.

"hi." she says, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me back.
"hey." i say awkwardly. the cameras keep flashing, and i feel her breath against my ear.
"do you think they got some good photos?" she said tiredly, and i've been dying to hear voice but i can't let her back in. we can't be together anymore.
"probably." i put her down and she looks up at me with those big green eyes, and she doesn't look happy.
"right, well, let's go then?" she puts on a fake smile and holds out her hand for me.
"feldy's waiting in the car." i take her hand, and this feels normal again.
stop it calum.

i take her bag, slinging it over my shoulder.
"flight okay?"
"yeah." she says quietly.
"i'm sorry about the robbery." i say, and she looks over at the paparazzi.
"don't be." she covers her face from the flashing lights and i take my hand out of hers and wrap it around her shoulder, pulling her closer.

"calum! are you and evie back together?" a pap shouts, and evie looks up at me like i'm meant to have all the answers. i don't say anything, but i just smile and nod. security pushes us through until we reach the car park, and once we're out of sight of everyone, i move far away from evie and keep my distance.

we get in the car, and evie's ecstatic to see john.
"feldy! so good to see you." she leans across and embraces him, he returns the gesture.
"my two favourite love birds." he says.

i clear my throat to correct him.
"sorry." he shrugs. we buckle into the car and john looks at us like we're some sort of science experiment.
"so how was the flight, evie?" he asks.
"ah it was okay, i'm just really tired."
"how was the airport pick up?" feldy turns to me.
"we hugged, held hands, everything you told us to do." i say monotonously, because this is really fucking hard to be around her again. i've missed her so much but i can't get hurt again.
"something yeah, they asked us if we were back together too but we just smiled." she added.

evie pushes herself closer to her side of the car, and i want to scream. i want to scream at her for leaving, i want to scream at myself for letting things get so bad between us.

"well it's good to see you two getting along."
"probably won't last long." i joke, but no one laughs.
"you're still a dick, huh?" evie says, looking over at me.
i shrug, and feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

emily ? club girl: i want you sooo bad right now x

i feel evie's stare burn into my skull, and i look over at her. she gives me a hard stare, then looks out the window. i sigh and text emily back.

me: come over tn xx