smile ; ch

fifty

calum

her back presses into my chest, closer and closer. her hips pushing back into mine, she's breathless, clutching onto my arms wrapped around her ribs.

we're silent in our motions except for our breathing, deep and strong and angry.
suddenly, she reaches around and pulls the towel off my hips, my wet hair dripping onto her neck and she shivers.

"we can either talk this out, or you can fuck it out of me, cal. which ones it gonna be?" she pants, pressing her hips further back, telling me exactly which one she wants but i still can't help but ask, no matter how angry i am.
"i'm guessing i know which one you'd prefer." i say, pressing her further against the door.
"this isn't gonna fix this, though. remember that." she moans out as i push her shirt up, exposing her breasts.
"i'd certainly like to try," i pinch her nipple, "seemed to work alright when you came to LA, this is why you're still here, isn't it?"

she pushes back against me, shoving me backwards. i stand naked, watching her flip around, her eyes glassy and pulling her top back down over her stomach.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" she says.

i pick up my towel, wrapping it back around my body and placing a hand on her hip. i watch her look me up and down, and i know she wants to fix it this way but she wants to hurt me more first.

"i said i was sorry."
"yeah, that makes it all better."
"i was trying to make it better."
"what, by fucking me?" she raises her eyebrows.
"stop lying to yourself, you know that's the best way we work through shit." i turn from her, sitting back down on the edge of the bed.

she stays silent, still watching my every move.
"see, you've got nothing to say."
"what do you want from me, calum?" she shakes her head.
"i want you to come here, and we'll see if you can even walk for coffee tomorrow."

i can see her smirk ever so slightly, but it disappears as soon as she sees that i've noticed. i see you, baby.
"you don't trust me." she shakes her head more.
"you don't trust me."
"i've got every right, you don't have a shred of proof. you're just an insecure fuckhead."
"keep going." i encourage.
"i wouldn't ever dream of fucking ashton."
"why not? he's a great guy, he's funny, he's nice."
"he's not you!"
i laugh, shaking my own head now and looking out the window to my left.
"whats so funny?"
"how would you like me to say sorry, evie?"

she's so breathless, chest heaving up and down with rage and she looks so fucking hot. the tension is so thick and this isn't even about the fight anymore. it's about us.

without another word, evie charges towards me, climbing into my lap and kissing me like she did when we first had sex here in LA. her hands run all around my body, pushing me down onto the bed. i don't give her much authority, i flip us and drag us up to the pillows, practically tearing her shirt off. we're like animals when we're angry, and it used to be like this in colorado during covid. i remember it clearly. we got so stuck in fighting and fucking and we loved every bit of it, no matter how wrong it really was.

"off, get them off." she says, desperately trying to unbutton her shorts. i take over, flipping the metal out of its socket and pulling them off her along with her underwear.

we fight viciously for dominance, clawing and pulling on each other but our mouths never separating. my towel is long gone, and before i know it she's on her stomach, arching her hips up and up until the hit mine. she reaches behind and guides me to her, wanting it and craving it just as much as i do.

"fuck, evie." i groan as i enter, having to lean forward to clutch the sheets beneath her.
"oh my god." she says, doing the same as me and clutching anything she can.

i start to thrust, moving my hand to her hair and balling it in a fist. the whole bed shakes, the room feels like it's shaking. fuck, the whole house even. she screams like never before, bouncing back into me and hissing into the pillows. i already want to cum, so quickly, but we take out all that anger into this.

the idea of her leaving me for someone else, ashton, makes me thrust harder and harder. angrier and angrier at the thought of someone else getting to touch her and do the things i'm doing to her now.

without warning, evie starts to shudder, her knees wobbling into the mattress so i grab a hold of her hips to keep her in position.
"that was quick." i huff out, chuckling.
"shut the fuck up and don't stop." she squeals, i watch her back muscles contort as she reaches for the bedding around her.

"god, please, please don't stop!" she yells again, and as much as i want to keep going, it hits me like a tonne of bricks how much i fucking love this girl. how much the idea of losing her scares me, how much i want to be a better partner and enough of a man to not make her think id ever even think of raising my hand at her.

"what are-"
"shush." i say, flipping her over and reentering. i bring her legs around my ribs and she holds on tight.

i press my forehead into evie's, staring into her eyes and grabbing her hands to hold.
"i love you, i love you so fucking much-" i groan out, pressing my lips into hers and being met with the same fire, the same passion.

her legs start to weaken around me, she's softer. instead of digging her nails into my skin, she holds me.

"i love you, just you." she chants into my mouth, our tongues dancing through every word and its sweet as honey to hear her say that.
"i'm sorry." i repeat and repeat, until she nods into my neck, holding on tightly to me.

as i cum, i start to slow my pace. we're sweaty and my hair is still wet from my shower but she doesn't care.

as the anger dies and so does my energy, i collapse into her ribs. falling into that special space that protects her heart, feeling a part of me burrow in there and keep it warm.

"cal." she pants, holding onto the back of my neck. i groan in response, absolutely depleted of all my energy. all i've got left in me is holding onto her.
"i'm sorry." i grumble, kissing her cheek lightly.
"me too."
"you don't have to be sorry, i was the insecure fuckhead."

she doesn't respond, just squeezes me closer and tighter than ever.
"i'm only gonna say this once, and never again, but fuck...i love when you do that." she chuckles, earning the same from me.
"sometimes i miss fucking after a fight." i admit, rolling off her but bringing her with me, pressed into my chest. she lays on top of me, light as ever but still enough to make me feel like 2020 again, stuck and happy with it.

"we can't keep doing this."
"what?"
"fighting, then fucking."
"its just one time, eves."
"no, it's not. it's coming to LA, it's this, it'll be a fight in a couple of days and we'll be in the same boat at three years ago."
"that wasn't so bad, though, was it?" i smirk and she gives me a soft, right hook into the ribs. i groan, holding her fist tight.

"our sex life was never a problem." i say.
"it was when we would do it every day to resolve the problems we should've been talking about."
"yeah, you're probably right. you and i have never been big emotional people though, think we get that from our parents."
"i am, i like to talk."
i laugh, "we'll see how we go in a couple of days then, hey?"
"yeah, yeah we'll see."