smile ; ch

twelve

evie

i wake up to calum's head buried in my neck, his hair tickling my cheek and the sun hitting his back. i don't wake him just yet, i relish in the moment.

last nights argument made me so angry but also so much better, if felt good for us to get everything off our chest. at this point cal would have to go to great lengths to win me back, but it feels nice pretending we're a couple again. even if the keyword is pretending. i noticed the change in him when he didn't actually leave, and he stayed with me.

i move my nose into his hair and close my eyes, feeling the sun hit my face now. he smelt like men's cologne and aftershave, still the same one he's used since he was 18. he's not wearing a shirt now, and his skin is tan and beautiful and soft. his arm was hiked around my waist and his other arm splayed out on the bed next to him. i scratch his back softly, not wanting anyone or anything more than for us to go back to normal.

back to colorado, when every night was date night and it didn't matter what was happening around us because we had each other. him and i against the world.

i never even found other guys attractive when i was with calum, to be honest i still don't, no one ever has lived up to him. despite the arguments and the drunken nights he'd stumble home, i still felt like i was made to be there for him. call it toxic, which is what it was towards the end, but i still loved - love - him even after what he's done to me. he's always going to have me wrapped around his pretty pinky finger.

"morning." he says, his voice raspy. his hand pulls me closer.
"hey." i reply, flattening my hand onto his spine.
"what time is it?" he says into my neck, his breath hot and causing my cheeks to flush.
"mmm, like 11." i say, turning to look at the clock.
"fuck." he grunts.
"what?"
"i had a band meeting at 10."
"you can still go, just get ready quick."
"mmm." he groans, not letting go of me.
"cal, you gotta show up."
"i don't wanna go." he lifts his head up and leans his jaw on my shoulder, looking at me.
"don't blame me if they get mad at you." i smile.
"gonna have to." he whispers.
we look into each other's eyes for a moment too long, and then he finally says, "coffee?"
"sounds good."

as calum gets up, i watch his back contort to pull his shirt back on, and i sit up in bed. i watch him intently, seeing him look for his socks on the ground and his phone under the bed.
"you getting up?" he asks.
"hmm? yeah." i shake my head and start to get out of bed.
"do you wanna come with me to the band meeting?" he asks.
"uh, no that's okay. let's just go to a cafe, i might go for a walk or something around the studio."
"okay, sure. i'll just call the boys."

cal leaves to call them, so i get up and start getting ready. sundress for today.

/

"shouldn't be too long considering i'm two hours late." he says, standing up from the cafe table.
"no worries. just call me when you're done." i smile, standing up too to say goodbye.
"you sure you gonna be okay?" he comes closer to me.
"yeah, of course."
"okay, well, be safe. if you need me just call."
"yep. have fun."

calum brings me in for a hug and whispers in my ear, "there's cameras behind me."
"okay."
"come here." he placed his hand on my cheek and looks at me in the eyes, "we good?"
"business is business." i force out, and he smiles while leaning down.

i melt into his lips, feeling my knees and my neck go limp. he laughs into the kiss, pulling away and smirking at me, "looks like i still got it huh?"
"shut up." i blush, playfully shoving his chest.
"one more." he smiles and goes to pulling me in again but i turn my face.
"that's enough, go on, you're already late." i shake my head but all he does is smirk and nod his head.
"alright, alright, well i'll see you in a bit."

i watch as calum walks away, and i feel my cheeks become hotter and hotter.
i sit back down and start to look up the closest museums around me, within walking distance.
county museum looks okay...

/

i sit down in front of a piece of art and feel myself drifting off into deep thought. two lovers dancing with the night sky plastered around them; chunks of paint and textures on the surface. i keep my head in my palm, staring at it so intently that i feel like my eyeballs are gonna fall out of my head.

"hi! excuse me." i'm snapped out my thoughts by a younger girl, maybe around fifteen, standing next to me.
"hi?" i smile, "you okay?"
"yes i am! i'm just a really big fan of 5sos and have seen the news lately that you and calum are back together so i just wanted to say hi! you're so pretty." she blushes, and i stand up.
"oh you're too sweet!"
"can i hug you?" she asks shyly.
"of course you can! i wish i had the boys here to meet you, honey." she moves closer until her arms are wrapped around me.
"i've been such a big fan for so long, i even remember watching their first youtube videos and the song calum wrote about you! i want to find love like yours one day." she says into my chest, and i squeeze her tightly.
i smile to myself sadly, because the loves not real anymore, "you will, i promise." i rub her back.
"i also really love your photography. i've been wanting to buy your prints and everything."
"thank you! what's your name?" she pulls out of the hug.
"lily." her smile is so big.
"well, lily, it was really lovely to meet you. i'll make sure to tell the boys all about you, okay?"
"thank you! if i write a note are you able to give it to them?"
"of course, darling!" i smile, and we sit back down on the padded bench.
she starts to write on a page in her notebook, "i've seen all these things online about people saying you and calum are back together for a stunt or something, which is so stupid!" she looks up at me briefly, like i need to validate her opinion, and i know i have to.
i lie, "calum and i took some time apart but we've never been happier. we're still in love, and it's not a stunt." i rub her back again, and she smiles, like it's the answer she wanted.
"i thought that too, it's true love right?"
i hesitate, "prince charming true love." that hurt to say.
"well, here you go. if you could please give this to ashton, he's my favourite."
i laugh, "no worries, lily. it'll make his day."
"thank you! are we able to get a photo? you don't have to." she stutters nervously.
"of course we can, come over here." i smile, and she shuffles closer to me.

the grin on her face stretched from ear to ear, and mine does too, although i feel like i'm being buried alive by guilt. i'm selling a fake image for this beautiful girl.
"thank you!" she hugs me one last time, and then stands up.
"have a good day, honey." i smile and wave her off.

as i watch her walk around the corner of the museum wall, i look back at the painting. it's all fake, if lily were to ever find out this was all fake i'm sure it'd break her heart.
i sigh, putting my phone in my pocket and picking up the note she left for ashton.

i start to read it, even though i probably shouldn't of.

hi ashton! thank you for changing my life. you and the band have made living at home bearable, and i'm so thankful for your music.
i love you!
here's my instagram: @/lilysmith18181

i smile at the note, because this will make ashton the happiest he's been in a while.