smile ; ch

twenty two

evie

my bags are packed but i can't bring myself to call the uber. i sit on the couch, playing with my phone in my hands.
i didn't have the heart to pack the clothes that feldy bought me, either. they're all hanging up neat and tidy, probably waiting for the next girl they find for the PR stunt.

i miss june, and i miss my home in new york. june wrote to me the other day, telling me she's started to get sick again but the medical bills just keep piling on. she's rich, but when the american health system strikes, sometimes money isn't enough.

i stare at the black television screen, and now i want my mum. i want my dad. i want my old hometown, clear air and no city lights.
i think i just want to escape myself, or at least escape the version of myself that is heartbroken by calum, again.

my phone vibrates in my hand, and i see it's a message from feldy.
feldy the man: i'm out the front sweetheart. can u let me in please? quick chat x

i sigh, already knowing he's going to try convince me to stay.
i go to unlock the front door, and see john standing outside in a plain t-shirt and jeans.
"hey, honey." he says, a sad smile on his face.

just by the look of feldy's expression, i burst into tears. he engulfs me in his arms and leads me back to the couch, "sit down, evie. come on."

we sit, and i sniffle, pulling a tissue from the coffee table.
"i know he's hurt you." feldy brushes the hair from my face.
"for the last time, he has." i choke out.
"i know, sweetheart. you deserve so much better." he tells me, and i look up at him finally.

"you know, even when we were younger, he never really got angry with me. i know id annoy him, or frustrate him, but he rarely ever raised his voice. he was calm, sweet and kind. he's just a completely different person now, john. the sweet, young boy that i fell in love with is just gone."
"evie, that sweet little boy is still in there somewhere. i see it, i see it when he's on stage, i see it when he's with you. he just needs to learn how to see it himself."

feldy keeps brushing my hair with his fingers, and like he is to calum, he's a beautiful father figure.
"i don't know how to keep loving him." i say.
"sweetheart, i don't think you need to anymore." he admits.
"is he okay?"
"he's agreed to go cold turkey, for real this time. when i told him you were packing to go back to new york...i think he realised he fucked up big time."
"'fucked up big time' is even an understatement, john."

john feldy stays quiet, looking at me with lots of love in his eyes. sincere and genuine.
"how's june?" he asks.
"how do you know about june?" i frown.
"evie, love. i know about everything in new york."
"she's not well." i admit, wiping my nose again.
"does she need better doctors?"
"they think she's got a heart condition and emphysema." i tell him.
"mmm." he says, thinking.
"i'll have to go back to see her."
"the best doctors are here, in los angeles."
"feldy-"
"she's already on her way, honey. i've got her set up with the best specialists when she gets here."
"you can't do that, feldy. her whole life is in new york!" i say, bewildered at his bribery.
"evie-"
"did you only do that so i fucking stay?" my eyes widen.
"evie, i'm willing to give you $450k and to look after june, if you can please stay. you only have to see calum at main events and on a saturday every week."

i flinch from feldy, ripping my hand out of his.
"i can't believe this, john."
"evie, please, think about it."

i stand, "i need you to leave."

feldy looks up at me from the couch, then stands himself. on his way to the door, he turns to me and says, "calum is paying for June's medical expenses, and he's also the one offering to pay more money for the contract. please just give it some thought."

with that, feldy leaves the house.

/

i'm unpacking my bags again, but leaving everything in an easy spot to grab if i need to.
$450k was deposited in my bank account 5 minutes after feldy left, and the air inside my lungs had escaped.
it was the most amount of money i've ever seen.