smile ; ch

twenty four

evie

i go through the men's bathroom doors, gaining strange looks from everyone in the restaurant but i need him to get through this lunch.

i need him to do this for his band, the boys i grew up with too. for june.

i lock the doors behind me, and lean against them.
"calum?" i call out.

the only bathroom stall door swings open, and he emerges, red eyes and a red nose.
did he just use?

"what?" he says, moving to the sink and washing his face. his mullet getting wet too.
"i just wanted to-i just wanted to make sure you were okay."

he places both hands on the sink and leans against it, i see his knuckles turn white. it's cold in here, goosebumps raise along my skin and it smells like lavender.

"do i fucking look okay?" he looks at me through the mirror.
"not really." i respond quietly.
"can you-can you just go? i'll be out in a minute."

i stand for a second, rage and anger but also sadness and loneliness flooding through me. all i want to do is reach out and slap him but also hold him at the same time.

"evie." he says, turning around and looking at me dead in the eye.
"yeah-sorry, i'll go." i press myself off the door and shuffle my feet back into my heels properly.
"why are you here?" he says before i go to turn the lock back.
"i told you, i wanted to make sure you were okay."
"why?" he says, "what else do i possibly have to do to make sure you hate me?" he sighs, grabbing a paper towel and wiping his hands.
"i do hate you, calum." i say, dropping my gaze to the ground.

i do but i don't.

"you've always been a shit liar. it's pathetic, evie, that you're staying in LA." he says, harshly.
tears brim at my eyes, "i don't know how many times i have to say it, cal, but i'm not doing this for you. not anymore, anyway." i shrug.

i'm doing this for june and the boys.

"bit of money, hey?" he says condescendingly.
"just a bit." a tear falls out of my eye and i smile sadly, watching the man i adored a year ago desperate to try and tear me down.
"you deserve so much better." he sighs, shaking his head and pushing off the counter, going to walk towards me and the door.

i stand in front of the handle, blocking his exit.
"you had your chance to be that better, calum. i want you to remember that." i look up at him, my neck bending to adjust to his height.

his eyes avert down to me, jumping from iris to iris, staring deep into my soul.
with that, i unlock the door and leave him in the bathroom alone.

/

calum and i say our goodbyes to everyone, there's no paparazzi out the front anymore. just us and the rest of LA's population.

"i think i'm gonna walk." i say to him as he walks to the drivers seat.
"you're in heels, you're not gonna get far."
"how do you know how far i can walk in heels?" i say.
"year 12 ball." he snaps back, and he's right.

i could barely stand in these things without the fear of breaking an ankle.
"just get in." he grumbles, and i do as he says.

the car ride is silent except for the radio playing.
"thank you for coming to lunch." he mumbles.
"did-did you like your steak?" i squeak out.
"yep." he sighs, turning a corner.
"feldy asked if we could get some more photos today."

calum sighed harder as we pulled into his driveway.
"wanna be more specific?"
"it's a saturday." i respond.
"and?" he unbuckles his seatbelt.
"did feldy not tell you the updated agreements of the contract?"
"no, evie. he did not." he throws his head back against the seat.
"he asked if we could spend saturdays together."
"why?" he frowns.