The stories in my flesh (Sequel to scars)

Part 39

My bare feet touch the wet cold grass. I stare at the cloudy sky. It looks like it's about to rain. There's lots of wind and I'm shaking violently, my body hurts. And I'm hypnotized by the huge sky that looks like it's falling on me. Yet I don't move. I just stand there watching ... Waiting .. And hearing. Then I hear something, something besides the wind against my ear, something besides the thunders. Its something that catches my attention. I look around the field. All I see is nothing but grass. Yet I keep hearing it .. And it gets closer. And closer. I see two figures walking towards me, but they're blurry. I squint a few times trying to see who they are but I can't tell. Then I hear something else, I turn my back on the two mysterious blurry figures and face more figures. It's a group and they're talking all at the same time making it hard for me to understand. It's irritating because I can't see them clearly. To my right there's one more figure! What's going on? I stand there surrounded by mysterious figures I cannot see, I don't understand why they're here. I don't understand why I'm here. The loud thunder hitting the group startles me and then I see them. They're starting to become clearer by the second. I freeze feeling a cold shiver inside my body. It's Macy and she's with Anthony. He's touching her cheek and she's got her arms wrapped around his neck. I can't hear what they're saying but they're smiling and laughing. My mouth opens and I put my hand against my chest. It feels like my heart is getting stabbed ... Literally! I walk to them with tears in my eyes and I grab Anthony's arm. "Anthony! What are you doing? Why are you with her?! Anthony! Answer me- please!" I shake him but he doesn't move he stands there looking into her eyes and I feel scared. So terribly scared. He can fall for her.. Who wouldn't fall for her? For her eyes? I scream and shout but he doesn't seem to hear me. Then I turn to my right, nick is standing there. I wipe my tears and walk to him, I'm about to touch him when he steps back. "Nick?" I say. He looks at me coldly, like he hates me. "Nick what's wrong? Nick why are you stepping away?" I feel more tears come. "You can't do this to me too! Don't leave me .. Don't leave." He doesn't say a word he just looks at me. I try to reach for him again and he moves away. I put my face in my hands and cry. "Look at that girls! Typically sydwhore! She's always crying always begging people to stay in her pathetic life." I look up and see Brittney stand there with her friends. "She is pathetic." Miranda says with a grin. This can't be happening. Everybody is against me. "You're all alone." Chase says with a chuckle. "She's always been alone. You're meant to be alone." Jena says. I look at Nick who's standing there not saying anything, I glance at Anthony and Macy they're now staring at me. "Loser .. Slut.. Whore.. Bitch.. Pathetic ... Ugly ... Skank ... Disgusting.." I cover my ears trying to stop hearing their voices but it's impossible. Fall to my knees and bang my head on the grass, rain starts to fall and all I can hear is their name calling. Brittney pulls my hair forcing me to look up at her, "Make us all a favor and kill yourself bitch." She laughs, then her friends start to laugh. Nick laughs.. Anthony laughs. They're all laughing at me. I squeeze my eyes shut screaming loud, my throat burns and I can feel my whole body tremble with both cold and scared. "Stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Anthony-! Nick-! Please make it stop!" I scream loudly. "Make us all a favor and kill yourself bitch!" Brittney repeats.

My eyes fly open and I gasp sitting up from by bed trying to get air. I'm crying and my chest hurts. It was dream. It had to be a dream, right? I get out from the bed, my legs feel like jelly and they're cold against the floor. I wipe my tears and with shaky hands I can barely manage to open my bedroom door. It's still dark outside and I glance at the clock it's four twenty eight a.m.

Then I tiptoe to Nicks room, he's in his bed and all I can see is his chest go up and down as he breaths. I go to his bed and sit on the floor watching him sleep, I feel like crying again because what would I do if he ever leaves me? He's my friend, my only friend, the only one I've ever had besides Amy. And he helped through so much, he helped me find Anthony. He's been here for me. I move his curlish hair away from his forehead. Then I see his pill bottle beside his bed, I get the urge to grab two and swallow them like I did the other day. But I can't because we will be going to work soon and those things really make you pass out.

I walk out his room and close the door quietly. I don't want to sleep because I'm afraid the nightmare will come back. I'm so afraid of everything right now. So instead of going back to my bed I go in the bathroom and turn on the water. I get undressed and get in the shower. The water is warm against my burning hot skin. And all that seems to pop up in my head is the dream.

Anthony.

Macy.

Nick.

Brittney.

"Make us all a favor and kill yourself bitch."

~

Nightmares are pretty bad. I can't stop thinking about it even though I try so hard! I try and try and try but it won't go away.

"I made you a sandwich for breakfast." I say walking behind Nick trying to keep up with him. He's walking fast to the taxi and I'm struggling to keep up. When we are in the taxi I hand him his sandwich. He looks at it, "I'm not really hungry." He says. That stung, he's been acting like for a few days now. And I don't like it, it hurts whenever he acts so distant. He's my friend, I want us to be close like we used to.

My chin quivers and I turn to look out the window. The huge lump in my throat is making it hard for me to swallow. Don't you dare cry, Sydney.

I think about the horrible dream, Nick was leaving me. He wasn't there for me anymore. He wasn't my friend. He wasn't nothing.

"Nick, would you ever leave me?" I can barely mange to speak. He turns his head and looks at me. I hope he can't see my red eyes and quivering chin. I hope he can't tell Im hurt and worried and scared. He doesn't answer for a few seconds and I chew on the inside of my lip.

I turn to look out the window again. He didn't answer so that can obviously mean one thing. I feel Nicks hand I turn around, he takes the sandwich I made for him and starts to eat it. After his first bite he whispers, "I wouldn't leave you."