The stories in my flesh (Sequel to scars)

Part 31

"Do you want to get dinner?" Nick asks as we leave the cafe. I shake my head no, "We still have bread and peanut butter and jelly."

"I thought you might want to eat something else, we got paid today so we can get something." Im glad we got paid today. "Maybe tomorrow we can get groceries."

~
I keep thinking of those wicked girls. I can't believe I saw them again, but of course what did I expect? We live in the same town it was almost impossible not to see them. And to make things worse .. The girl that's trying to steal Anthony away from me is friends with my worst nightmare. Brittney Hollingsworth.

She is still the same evil girl from three years ago. I thought by now she would have matured enough, but I was wrong. She still brings people down to make herself feel superior. She proved that today.

Alice told the truth. They're not friends anymore. What did they do to Alice? Or what did she do that got her kicked out of the group?

"Sydney-" I look up, Nick is standing in front of me. "Yeah?" I say confused. "Have you been listening to a word I've said?" He asks looking down at me. I shake my head no, "Sorry." I whisper.

"I asked if you were going to eat dinner or use the bathroom." My mouth forms an 'o'. "Oh, I'll rather take a shower first." I say getting up from the couch. "Alright." He says stepping out of the way so I can walk to the bathroom.

We only have about three towels- at least we have towels. I get in the shower and feel the warm water hit my body. I close my eyes feeling relief. It's been a long day.

I truly hate myself right now because I wish I had a razor with me. I cut myself many times in the shower before .. Way too many times to count. I've got scars, lots of scars. On my wrists, thighs, stomach, it's sad I feel the need to cut to get all this sadness and anger out.

But I can't cut. And I won't. I won't do it because I'm tired of depending on a razor, I'm tired of being a "cutting freak."

After a long while I finally open my eyes and stare at the shower wall. When I look down I see bright red blood. My heart beats fast and I grab myself trying to fall.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I've caught bloodymary on camera! Look at that disgusting creature. Ugly just ugly. Eh she smells like blood! Fucking gross!"

"No! No! Leave me alone!" I scream covering my ears. I slide down the shower shaking my head back and forth but I can't stop the voices in my head.

"Aww what's wrong sydwhore?" "Brittney! Blood! There's blood everywhere, call somebody. Help me please!"

"No!" I scream again. "Stop! Stop!" Im screaming loud and I can feel my forehead sweating. The water is still running but it's cold now.

"Sydney!" Nick screams, "Open the door!" He's banging on the door but I don't want to get up, I'm still screaming like a lunatic. "Sydney! Open the door!" He sounds scared, he's banging on the door harder and harder each time. If I don't open it he's going to knock the door down.

"I just want it to stop!" I say banging my head on the shower wall. "Stop what!?" He screams, panic on his voice.. I hear it. "The voices!!!" I sob pressing my eye lids hard trying to stop the flashes in my head.

"I'm going to knock the door-" he says, "No! Im naked." I say feeling embarrassed and ashamed. "Then please open the door, please."

A while later I manage to get up. Nick is still knocking on the door and talking to me, he's telling me to open it. I look down and still see blood. But I'm too cold to stay here in the shower, the water is freezing cold now but I leave the water open so the red would wash away.

I get up shaky and grab a towel wrapping it up around my body. My eyes are flooding with tears. "Sydney-! Please, please.." His voice goes to a whisper. I turn off the water wiping my tears. Good thing I brought my clothes with me here.

When I'm done getting dressed I take deep breaths trying to calm down. I don't like crying in front of people. My hand is shaking violently as I open the door. Nick walks up to me grabbing me by my shoulders, "Are you okay!? Oh dear God! Sydney you scared m to death-!" He says running his hand through his hair.

My chin quivers, don't cry Sydney. Don't. "What happened?" He looks around the bathroom, "Blood." I whisper. His face goes pale, "You cut? Again?"

"No." I sniffle feeling fat tears coming.
"Promise me you didn't cut again." I nod, "I promise."

"Why are you crying? What voices were you talking about?" He tries to make eye contact but I avoid it. I can't look at him in the eyes. "It's embarrassing." I whisper wiping my tears, it's not helping though because more tears keep coming.

"You can tell me anything." He says, my hair is dripping wet and its wetting my shirt making me shiver. "I- I- my p-" I'm cut off by a sob. "Sydney, what is it?" He sounds so concerned. "My menstrual cycle." I whisper feeling my whole body feel hot. I truly want the earth to eat me alive right now.

"Ohhhhh." He says. I cover my face feeling an embarrassment so bad it makes my heart fall to my stomach. "It's okay Sydney. I'll go to the store- don't worry, it's okay." He gives me a hug and I cry on his chest.

I feel like such a little kid crying but I can't help it. Why am I always getting embarrassed? Why am I always feeling ashamed? "It brought bad memories- memories I don't want to remember." I say on my hands. He rubs my back with his hands.

"I'm sorry. It's okay, It's okay."

But it's not okay.

*Hey guys! I made a trailer for this story, check it out and please give me a thumbs up if you like it!
Heres the trailer its called "The Stories In My Flesh- (Sequel to Scars) Wattpad trailer" and its posted on YouTube ;
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KMwd4vno4rk