The stories in my flesh (Sequel to scars)

Part 4

"What do we do after lunch?" I ask Amy, "We go to classes." She says. "Classes?" I ask. "Yeah, we go to a class and there's some person talking inspirational to us and all that shit." "Ohhhh." It all I say. "Henry is not so bad looking, he's muscular and pretty hot for a man in his thirties." Amy says, "Hes not even cute." Abigail says, it's the first time she has talked since we've been in lunch. "He is too! I wish he'd give me a back massage just not on my back." Carries eyes widen and Abigail looks disgusted, "You're so gross, Amy." Carrie says. "I'm not gross okay? I'm just saying the truth." Okay now I see the 'sex' problem Amy has.
A bell rings and lunch time is over, I barely ate my food. I walk over to throw away my tray and I see Carrie quickly throwing her whole plate away. She didn't touch the food at all, "You didn't eat." I whisper, she looks around, "Shhh please don't tell. I'll get in trouble." She looks terrified. "Okay, I won't." I say, she puts her brown hair behind her back and walks away. Her legs are skinny, her whole body is skinny. Why does she think she's fat?
Amy was right, we do go to a "class". I'm in a room with the same nine people I had in my group while ago. I try to sit next to Amy or Carrie but turns out they already have assigned seats, the only empty seat is next to Nick. I sit next to him and try my best to be invisible, he sighs when I sit next to him. He obviously doesn't like me, but I'm used to it. A lady starts talking, "Hello everybody. I'm Alexa and I'm here to talk about my experience," Nick puts his head down and seems to mute her out. She talks about how she use to self harm and that things get better and blah blah blah. "Now here's something I would like for each of you to do. There's some paper and pencils in your desks, I would like for each of you to write down what you're feeling. Just anything that comes to your mind."
Nick has wrote nothing but his name. I stare at my blank piece of paper.
'Do you ever feel so sad, so so so sad that your chest aches really bad? And your heart is beating yet you feel so empty inside. Like you're nothing, like your life is nothing. And you feel like everything will be better if you just take a razor and make it all better. It's an addiction, even though you try to stop you can't. Because you constantly have to cut, to see the blood drip, to feel the pain .. Just to feel that you're alive. I always feel like that, like I'm drowning, I'm dying slowly. He was my inspiration to stop cutting, yet they took me away from him. And without him I don't think I can stop.'
I put my pencil down and re-read what I just wrote. I see Alexa walking over to me and I quickly wrinkle my paper but before I can put it inside my desk she takes it, her expression changes when she reads it. I know that look very well. Pity. It's pity. "Who is 'he'?" She asks. I don't answer and just play with my fingers. "She doesn't have to tell you if she doesn't want to." Nick says. "I know things seem tough right now, but things get better. They will be better I promise." She whispers in my ear, next she reads Nicks paper. "Is that all you have to say?" Nick nods, "You know Mr. Bayers I'm sure there's more you want to say." Alexa says, "Nope I don't." She puts his paper down and I can't help but to read it. 'Nobody cares unless you're popular or dead' that's all it says and I couldn't agree more with him more.
When it's time to go back to our rooms Henry walks me to mine, I wish he'd stop doing that it makes me feel awkward. He hands me two pills, "What are these?" I ask. "They're for your depression, you will take two every day. They might cause some symptoms, like drowsiness, dizziness and you might feel like throwing up." He also hands me a small water bottle and then walks away. I stare at the pills for a while. After a few minutes I decide to take them, I lay down in my bed and close my eyes and think of my sweet Anthony.