The stories in my flesh (Sequel to scars)

Part 3

Everybody is staring at me. A rush of embarrassment runs through my veins and I feel my cheeks redden and heat up. They're looking at me like they've never heard a self harm story which is very ironic since technically we are all here because of depression and suicide problems.
"Well I have a sex problem, I don't think it's a problem but according to my parents it is." The blonde girl beside me says breaking the silence, Scott grins and the doctor Brantley clears her throat, "Umm. Well then," she takes off her glasses and writes something down on her notebook.
"I think this is enough uhhh group time for today. Go back to your rooms and in about fifteen minutes y'all are going to eat lunch." We all stand up and as we are walking out the blonde girl elbows me, "By the way I'm Amy, Amy Rivard." "I am Sydney Williams." She smiles, "Cool." And she walks to the left and enters a room. I walk to my room and wonder in what way Amy is hurt, she seems happy. She didn't seem affected at all at out "group section" and she even smiled at me. Something I haven't done since being with Anthony.
There's a bell and I assume that's the lunch bell, Henry is walking down the hall while I peek out the door. "Hello Ms. Williams I'm here to show you where the lunch room is at. But first doctor Smith wants to talk to you." My heart jumps through my chest, "Why?" I whisper but Henry doesn't hear me and I follow him to the doctors office.
"Hello Sydney," she smiles I just nod and sit down. "So doctor Brantley told me what you said in your group therapy or session." I nod again, "Your parents also told me you tried to commit suicide twice." I hold my breath. "Is that true?" I don't say anything, "They said the first time was two years ago and you did it because of bullying, right?" I start to breath a little because I can't hold it in anymore.
"They moved you away and thought that'll help but two weeks ago you tried to kill yourself again. Why is that Sydney? Whats upsetting you?" Anthony. I just want to see Anthony and hold him again, I want to touch his cheek again, I want him to kiss me again. I want him to tell me he loves me, I want to hear his voice again. I just want to see him. At least one more time.
I think of saying all of this but I don't, I stay quiet as my eyes fill with tears and my heart aches terribly. "Okay Sydney, you don't have to tell me. It's okay, don't cry." She hands me a tissue and I take it. She calls Henry over and tells him something. I want to cry, I just want to feel something else besides this pain.
Henry walks me to the lunch room, there's chicken nuggets and fries for lunch. There's about thirty kids here, I don't know where to sit so I stand there holding my tray. "Sydney!" Amy screams, every single soul looks at me when she screams my name, do they know who I am? I never told my name to anybody but Amy and now everybody is looking at me. My knees tremble as I walk over to Amy's table. "Where were you at?" She asks.
"Doctor Smith wanted to talk to me." Amy rolls her eyes, "Ugh that woman." "Did she gave you any pills?" Scott asks, I shake my head no. "Calm down Scott, you need to stop asking people for pills remember that's why you're here." Carrie says, "Yeah well you better eat your food cause that's why you're here." Carrie looks down at her lap and I'm sure Scott's words stung her. I know that feeling. Amy sits with Carrie, Scott, Evan, two more girls I can't remember their names, this other guy and Nick. I stare at him as he stabs his chicken nuggets with a fork. "What are you looking at goldilocks?" He snaps. I look down and my cheeks heat up. "Be nice." Amy says. Do I really belong here? With these people? Am I ever going to stop feeling this emptiness? This pain? What is Anthony doing? Am I ever going to see him? Am I ever going to kiss him again? Has he forgotten about me? Does he still love me? Does he love somebody else? Does he still live in California? Is he mad at me? So many questions and no answers.