The stories in my flesh (Sequel to scars)

Part 7

When Molly is close to us I pull the jacket down even more. "Don't make it so obvious." Nick says, he's looking down and his curls are all over his forehead so I can't really see his eyes. I stop pulling on the jacket and try my best to relax. She finally reaches our seats. She reads mine first, not out-loud of course. Her face turns to a smile and then it disappears, I'm guessing she reached the end. "I enjoyed reading this, don't worry. It'll get better, trust me." Everybody says that. But so far it hasn't gotten any better. She starts to read Nicks. "That was wonderful," she looks for his name on the paper. "Nick. Very beautiful written." Nick doesn't look up at her he keeps looking down at his desk, she puts his paper down and I can't fight the urge to read the paper.
"The first time I met her, she told me not to waste my time. That she would never take love serious. I told her I would love her no matter what. I pleaded for her to let me in, she kept rejecting me. She told me not to fall in love with a girl like her. I told her I didn't care and that I could save her from the darkness. I showed her what love was, no doubt my happiest moment was when I was with her. When we made love many times, when we kissed and held each other's hands. When she lied and said she loved me and I believed her like a fool even though deep down I knew the truth. But soon I learned that precious girl with the beautiful face and green eyes was an anchor that would eventually drown me in the sea." Wow. That was very deep. I try to look at his expression but he doesn't look up. Who is that beautiful girl with green eyes? Is she the one that caused him to be cold?

The class is over and we are walking to our rooms, I take off the jacket as soon as we are walking down the hall and I hand it to him. Nick takes it and walks straight to his room, Amy elbows me and winks. "Oooooh, so you and Nick?" She makes hand motions and I immediately deny it, "No! No it's not like that he just-" "You have to tell me all about it at lunch tomorrow!" I try to tell her that it's not like that but I don't even try to waste my breath because she's all the way down the hall walking into her room.

~
It's about to be seven, we don't eat dinner together which I think it's kinda dumb. But then again isn't all of this dumb? A lady named Patty brings our dinner. I kay down and stare at the ceiling for like what seems forever. I'm wondering so many things, why did Nick help me? What is Amy thinking about Nick and I? Will I ever see Anthony again? Will I try to cut again? I pull up my dress which I changed when I got back from class. I took it off and washed off the blood and then waited for the spot to dry. My cuts are red and puffy, if I touch them they hurt really bad. I hid the paper clip under the mattress, way in the middle just in case they decide to check. A lady comes in to change the sheets, well she did yesterday. I'm fighting the urge to get the paper clip, I can't cut anymore. Not for a while anyways, not after today. I could've easily gotten caught. I get all anxious and angry because I can't do anything in here. Anything! I am trapped, I am alone, I am scared. I dig my nails in the back of my neck, it hurts and after a while I stop doing it. When I look at my nails I see blood in them, did I dig my nails that hard in my neck?

"Dinners here, may I come in?" Patty says with a small knock. I wipe the blood from my nails and say yes. She walks in with a white plastic plate. The plate contains, mashed potatoes, corn, and a cheeseburger along with a bottle of apple juice. "When you're done just throw away the plate in the trash over there in the corner okay? Have a good night and a good dinner." She walks away smiling. I sit down on the bed with the plate in my lap. The scratches on my neck sting bad. I honestly don't feel like eating. I stare at my food but don't eat it. I'm pretty sure right now Carrie is throwing away her food. Maybe I should too.